Sprinkles of Grace

Blessed 2012

2012-01-26T23:35:00.007+08:00

Blessing everyone this 2012!!! I would like to thank my dear friend Ms. Josephine Sanchez for slowly and intricately re-designing my nook. Wishing again to unleash inspirations and thoughts from my heart and hope to encourage, challenge and inspire people who would read my posts.

I started the year at the mountains. Together with guy friends and a heart sister, we marvelled, enjoyed walking on the mud in the Rice Terraces of Ifugao. Child in us were released as we enjoy the beauty of God's creation during that long weekend holiday and New Year celebration.

As I prepare our New Year devotion, I asked the Lord what to share.

Deep in my heart, it was impressed upon me the joy and confidence on being a child of God.

¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry,“Abba ,Father.” ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. -Romans 8

We have the confidence not to fear, to be ashamed and the glory of it is that we are also co-heirs with Jesus Christ!

But, let us not forget the condition. We will share Jesus' glory if we share in His suffering. People nowadays, always want the rewards without thinking the cost. We don't value what was given because we don't know the hardship that has been before receiving the reward. We can share Christ's glory only if we share in His suffering. Unbelievably, there is joy in the midst of pain of walking in the path of our beautiful Savior, Jesus Christ. We are co-heir, that's the Truth. But to journey with Jesus can we only appreciate the worth of the heir that we receive through Him given by God the Father.

I can not know what the future holds. But this is the assurance. I am a Child of God. The King of Kings and the God of the universe is my personal Father. Who knows me, who adores me like a father adores his little princes. What more can't He not give me?

To put it simply, in my heart language, God calls me "Anak". What comfort! what ownership! What pride on my behalf. That's the blessing of this year. To reflect that I am a Child of God.

I am yet to polish these reflection. To study this passage I know is mind-blowing. I know I will discover more about this passage. :)

Welcome 2012! I Welcome Sprinkles of Grace.

Heart Fast

2009-09-24T16:51:00.002+08:00

God is impressing in my heart to have a heart fast... Just be steadfast to Him and pray and intercede for others. Forgetting what I feel just for a time being. He will do His part.

Do you have prayer requests? email me: lorzky@gmail.com

Ready Again

2009-09-22T12:16:00.005+08:00

It's funny how the Lord revived my heart again. After 5 years of hurt, pain and rejection, I can't live but to exercise the gift God has given me...His heart.

His heart. It is His. I just needed to rest for a while and realize many things in life is not mine. It's just borrowed. What I do with it will show how meaningful I lived my life.

Now, in the purest sense of the word, I can't help it. I exist to love. To express His love to people come in my way.

But I know, I will hurt. Jesus too was not spared from the pain from the very people He loved are those people who failed Him.

When that time comes, I pray for humility and strength to love more and leave everything to God.

This is His gift. I shouldn't shut it just because of fear of getting hurt.

And He is faithful and just. I will receive my reward soon..very soon.. In Jesus' name. Amen

Delight in Waiting

2009-09-10T10:26:00.003+08:00

It's a roller coaster ride for me these past months. I enjoyed, I fret, I felt loved, I expressed love, hurt, crushed,angry, betrayed, pushed to the limits, esteem crushed, dream again, and laying it all again.

It's another way of learning and discipline in the Lord. But I learned again that it is difficult when emotions get in the way. But I learned to be shrewd like serpents but harmless as doves.

Still, it's difficult.

But His grace is all sufficient. It's enough and always new in the morning.

My First Love reminded me of this, "Let Me be your delight, and I will grant your heart's desire."

Yes. I will again. It's worth the wait and to be delighted in You.

Just Be Without Me

2009-09-02T15:09:00.003+08:00

Hindi ako nagpapamiss. I guess when everything seems out of order, it is best for me to be silent and let God do His part in fixing things. In fixing the heart. This is a discipline of trust for me. Trusting the Lord knows and does what is best for all of us. Just be…BE. Just be without me. God will have His way in you. Rest assured I’m doing this because I’m a friend. And I’m obeying God rather than men and even myself.

LSS as of the moment

2009-08-28T18:46:00.001+08:00

Kiss The Girl lyrics

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
Possible she wants you too
There is one way to ask her
It don't take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl

Now's your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word
Until you kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
Ain't it a shame?
Too bad, he gonna miss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how
You want to kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
Float along
And listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music say

You got to kiss the girl
You've got to kiss the girl
You wanna kiss the girl
You've gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl

Seasons of Love

2009-08-28T18:39:00.000+08:00

Ei! I miss you na...hahaha! remember this song?:D

Seasons Of Love lyrics

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure- measure a year.

In daylights, in sunsets,
In midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan.
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man.

How about love?
how about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love

Waiting for the Gift

2009-08-25T11:01:00.000+08:00

Lord,

I will wait for Your gift. I waited for You in the past and You didn’t fail me. You will also not fail me now. Not ever. Cause my heart to be steadfast for you. Focus my eyes on the giver not on the gift. I surrender my flesh, change it to a heart that can see what’s more important. Only by Your Spirit Lord, I can be restored. Thank You for loving me. Make me dwell in Your love.

Your Princess

Back!!! Broken but thankful

2008-10-02T19:18:00.002+08:00

How does Hannah feel when she has to give back her son to God?
Painful, yet thankful.
God honors her desire, now its time for her to honor her God.

I have to offer my 'Samuel' again.
She's gone. But I have to let go ,let God and move on.
But the friendship remains.
Need to learn again surrender.

It's all about about Him.
Life is more meaningful in goodbyes
everything changes, but one thing remains.
By His grace, I am love and capable of loving.

amen...

On the Go and Overwhelmed

2007-02-03T02:15:00.000+08:00

Natulog ako ng 4am kanina, woke up at 9am, iniisip paano ko matatapos ang progress report ng CICF na dapat ipasa sa OSA. Pagkagising ko, sakto,tensionado dito sa bahay sapagkat kailangan ng aking ina ang magpadala na ng pera ang aking Ama. At kapag usapang pera, umiinit na ang mga ulo ng aking mga magulang. Hindi pa rin ako tapos sa aking gawain,ngunit kailangan kong mamagitan sa aking mga magulang kahit na sa telepono lang sila nag-uusap. Nananalangin ako na hindi sila magkataasan ng boses sa pag-uusap. Muli, kumain ito ng panahon na dapat ay ginagamit ko sa pag aayos ng problema ko sa pagpasa ng mga requirements.
Pabalik-balik ako sa mga ginagawa ko, hanggang sa nakagayak na ako upang umalis, ay naiwan ko sa pinakaimportanteng bagay na dapat ay madala ko sa paaralan.Ang USB.Mula sa kanto ay naglakad muli ako pauwi sa amin upang kunin ang naiwang importanteng bagay. Mabuti na lang ay nakasakay ako kaagad.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit sobrang trapik nung malapit na kami sa Quiapo. Umalis ako ng 12:45 sa bahay, Nakarating ako ng Taft ng 3pm.nakatulog na ako at lahat sa bus,hindi pa rin umuusad.
Nang makarating ako ng SM manila upang magpadevelop ng mga litrato mula sa Digicam, aba'y nasira ang budget ko. Buti na lamang at may pera pa akong extra. Buhat buhat ang mga sandamak-mak kong kagamitan para sa Progress Report ay naglakad ako upang sumakay ng Jeep papunta ng paaralan. Pag dating ko,mabuti na lang at nasa CICF office sina Always at iniwan ko muna ang aking bag at ibang gamit, at sinabihan ko silang simulan na ang pag-aayos ng gamit.Pagkatapos,Ibinigay ko ang mga posters, pinatatakan at ipinakita kay Ptr. Gemma. natuwa sya sa aking ginawa.Yun ay nasa ikatlong palapag ng PCU...Haay..nakakapagod.Pagkatapos, ay naghanap pa ako ng maayos na Xerox Copier upang ipaxerox ang files na ginawa namin.nagmamadali akong lumabas ng PCU at nagmamadali din ihinatid ang mga files na pipirmahan ni Tita Diade. Nang bumalik ako sa CICF Office, inaayos na muli namin ang mga records. Mga ilang sandali, Pinatawag na naman kami sa Chaplain's office upang pagusapan ang gagawin sa lunes. At pag baba ko, ay may meeting na naman akong pinuntahan sa USG at COP. Buti na lamang at patapos na rin kami sa report namin, at naipasa namin sa OSA (Office of the Student Affairs) ang report. At nagsimula din kami sa aming Accountability Group with Mommy Eden. Napagdesisyunan na gawin ito sa Mcdo. Ang official tambayan rin namin.
Walang kamatayang Hopes and Dreams ni Mommy Eden ang pambungad na sharing. Pagkatapos, nagsharing din kami sa Leadership Principles ni Jesus. Pagkatapos, pinasulat nya kami ng Commitment Letter for Jesus...Ayun na...nagsimula na ang aming Worship in Tears. Kasi naman ang Lord, WALANG KAKUPAS-KUPAS ANG SALITA NYA,KATOTOHAN AT KAGANDAHAN NYA...Haay,Kahit mahirap, andyan parin Siya... Kaya ayun, Nakita muli namin ang aming kalagayan sa harapan ng Diyos at kung gaano Siya kabuti sa amin.Halo halo na ang ibig sabihin ng aming mga luha...Kagalakan, Kapaguran at pagpapasalamat sa Kanyang kadakilaan. Naishare ko din bago kami umuwi na, "Please pray for me, I'm in the process of Healing.." at muli ay naiyak na naman ako...Pambihira, sa Mcdo, ang dami ko nang moments na umiiyak dun!!!
Ang galing ng Panginoon gumawa ng kwento sa isang ordinaryong araw. Akala ko, matagal na naman bago ko maranasan yun...
At sobrang saya ko na hindi ako Ate sa grupong iyon. Na makikinig lang ako, magbabahagi, pero hindi ate...hehehe...Dream came true.
At muli, kwentuhan kami ni Mommy Eden pag uwi...medyo natagalan ako nakaabang ng Jeep, nung pagsakay ko, feeling ko, mabait si Manong Driver.Kaya pinagpray ko siya, "Lord, pagbaba ko, paki puno po itong jeep. Mabait kasi si Manong at naghahanap buhay..." kaya nung pagbaba ko sa Tandang Sora, sunod-sunod ang mga pasaherong sumakay, at mukhang napuno nga ang jeep. Hehehe...ang Galing ng Panginoon! simpleng panalangin e sinasagot Nya. Bawing bawi ang kangaragan ko ngayong araw...at may mga bonus pa na hindi mababayaran.
Sana makapag exam na ako next week.wala lang ako pambayad ng completion form kaya di ako makapag exam...Help me Lord ulit dito...
Basta...Ang GALING GALING GALING NG PANGINOON!!! WAAAHHH!!!

Answered Prayers

2007-01-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

I really thank God for answered prayers. He still says YES eventhough I feel I didn't prayed much. Thank You for temporary space for the fellowship although the place is not ours yet, but I'm so thankful for people who cares and knows the importance of having a space for the fellowship.

Also, I have read my 5 journals for the last 5 years of journaling. I have seen how God molded my character and how He answers prayer.There were people who I prayed for but I no longer remember them.hehehe...Maybe they were my former students in sunday school or people who walked out of my life without saying good bye. That's why I think I forgot them, or its just me who have memory gap. Also there are accounts in my journal that made me laugh, it was the crazy lorah who wrote crazy things for the Lord.I hope the Lord would not mind my craziness...hehehehe...

Thank you Lord.Thank you for Your faithfulness and for answering prayers in Your time, in Your Way. Please May I experience more of You.

Looking Forward to year 2007

2006-12-22T00:33:00.000+08:00

So many things happened to me these past weeks. Both good and bad. Ngaragan sa pag organize ng Birthday fellowships ni Jesus last week, chance to be bonded to friends who I can be me, no titles,no responsibilities. Be with dear friends, coffee time and have no normal sleep. Dami pa iba.
I'm here in Capiz. Indeed this is a gift. I don't plan to be here, but I feel this is the best place to meet my Savior again...Minus the busyness of Manila! wheeee!!!!
I've never been excited to face 2007. I feel this is a year of promises and God's faithfulness. I told my dear friend in our coffee date, "I've never been this excited to face 2007!I feel that this is a year God will clean the mess I made...basta! I feel so hopeful."
It's is not the 2007 year thing that is making me euphoric, It's the hope I have in my beautiful Savior Jesus Christ. I'm telling to my dear friends, "Asa pa ako sa buhay ko, sa Lord lang ako may future..." Yeah, I'm re-learning what my name, GRACE really means. And GRACE Keeps me alive.
Lord, Date Tayo ha...Meet me. I love you.

NOTE TO SELF

2006-12-09T00:42:00.000+08:00

Kindred Spirit is a gift...Differences is NORMAL.Live with it

Favorite Things

2006-11-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm... Bukod sa mga special people in my life, So far, these are my favorite things, things that makes me happy just by the thought of it.:
1. Cross
2. Stars. Especially when in a Mountain Top view (awww! I miss Sibonga!)
3. Big Shady trees
4. Majestic Mountains
5. Rainbows. Even if found in not so likely places
6. White Roses
7. Interesting Book
8. Painting or Artwork from a friend or a kid
hmm...so far these are my favorite things. But thankful ako this week kasi napaaga ang Christmas gifts ko! hahaah! salamat!salamat!

No Shortcuts

2006-11-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

Many roads in life seem to Lead me to glory
The world and all its
PleasuresTo make my life so easy
O Lord, help me to look
At the cross amidst all these
That I may take the road
That leads to Your embrace

**Jesus, I am weak
Your strength is all I need
Help me not take shortcuts
Make me follow your lead
Help me die, so I might live

Bridge:
To take the cross in everyway
And bear it daily all the way
This call You gave I have Received
I pray O Lord each day to live

LCDC Peaks...

2006-11-03T15:33:00.000+08:00

KC Mates

CICF SA LCDC...

Trees

2006-10-19T01:06:00.000+08:00

I'm a lil bit upset every time I pass through the trees ruined by the typhoon Milenyo:s as I ride going to school. I' m sad to see the broken branches and even the uprooted giant trees. Sigh...
One of my wish is that someday my family could find a haven in our province and atleast plant a tree that would grow sturdy, make a "payag" behind it and have an excellent moment or siesta under the shady tree...
On the other hand, I desire to work in an NGO that focuses in Nature. so five or six days a week, I will marvel and get hurt because of God's creation and on the Sabbath day, I will enjoy fellowship of believers.hehehe...
kelan pa yun?!?
waaahhh!!!
Segueway:
Wanted: a HOME CHURCH. Where I will feel welcome, needed, and at the same time ministers to me as I desire to minister to other brethren as well. Not the One way only when the individual does all the giving. A church who would affirm who I am and love me for who I am and not because of what I do. A Biblical Church who desires to please and honor God in their lifestyle and not just a sunday Christian. Honest, and knows the value of accountability. a Church whom I can have fellowship in the day of Sabbath. a day of rest and refuge for the children of the King.
I'm sick of wandering...
"Sometimes you have to put walls up around you not to keep people out... But to see who cares enough to break them down just to be with you..."

God's Favor

2006-10-14T14:24:00.000+08:00

Haaayy...

I'm sooooo soooo happy ngayon. Ang iyong lingkod ay dakilang walang pakialam sa mundo so I really don't mind if hindi ako mapansin ng mundo...ehem, ng mga tao pala (But this attitude I know have pros and cons, I know...I know). Then, my prof, aba! embarrassed me,well, hindi naman talaga ako napahiya, kasi wala pa akong tulog, kaya bangenge ako at wala gaano maramdaman. She jsut rebuked me kasi hindi ako marunong gumawa ng lesson plan! hahaha! sabi nya hindi ako nakikinig sa kanya...nakikinig ako, pero hindi ko lang pinapaedit ang gawa ko sa kanya, kaya raw at walang kwenta sa kanya ang pinasa ko. But then, kahit na pinagalitan nya ako, tinuro pa rin nya sa akin ang format. at yun na lang ang finals na gagawin ko. wahahaha! nakakalokang finals. But still, I 'm thankful sa kanya kasi she blessed me. She told me na magigng magaling akong teacher, but i have to learn how to make a lesson plan. hahahahaha!!!! natatawa talaga ako! at the same time touched. Kasi naman, I don't think she knows me that well to affirm me, well, maliban na lang kung kinacareer nya talaga ang mga compositions na gawa ko.

And she teaches with a heart. Kaya lang sobrang intimidated ako sa class kaya low profile ako...feeling nya hindi ako pumapasok. Mga Graduate students kasi ang mga classmates ko. kaya Autistic ako sa class for a sem.

Basta yun. Sooobrang thankful ako sa Lord I found favor sa prof ko.ang Lord yun. I just did my part.

Saan lupalop ng Maynila pwede akong sumigaw?!?

3 more subjects to go....

Sana 2nd sem na!!!

LCDC pa pala muna...

Birthday Wish

2006-09-07T09:45:00.000+08:00

May Jesus Put a New Song in my heart...

Tapos na ang Draft!

2006-08-30T08:34:00.000+08:00

Haaay Lord....Marami salamat po...natapos ko na ang draft assignment ko for thesis. Wish ko lang, next time, walang makisawsaw na problem sa akin. Sakit sa ulo. Grrr....

MY PRESS RELEASE ABOUT MY FAMILY

2006-08-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

Ang mapalayo sa pamilya ko ay mahirap. Pero ang nangyari sa amin ay isang step of faith.Hindi ko alam ang purpose ng Panginoon, but as I understand the situation, It is due to Economic and Safety reasons for my siblings. Dagdag na rin ang kadahilanang gusto ng aking mga magulang ang mag settle down sa probinsya some day kapag nag retire na sila.
Nagpaalam naman ng maayos ang aking ina sa kanilang pagprepare sa pag alis. Mahirap iyon, ngunit ang calling ng aking ina,more than anything else ay ang paglingkuran ang Panginoon through her family. Major change nga lang dahil tinawag sila ng Panginoon sa probinsya ng Capiz.
Alam ko po marami ang nahirapan nang umalis ang aking pamilya especially ang aking ina. Ngunit sana maluwag sa inyong puso ang i-bless sila at maging happy sa kanilang choice. This is learning to let go and praise the Lord kasi nakilala nyo ang aking nanay.
Sa aking simbahan na natutunan mahalin at na attach sa nanay ko, it is time to learn to let go. As you miss my family, say a little prayer for them. Ang kulitin ako kung kailan sila uuwi ay nakakadagdag sa pagpapahirap sa aking loob (stress) because more than anybody else, ako ang nasasaktan, but I have to let go. MAGFUFUNCTION ANG SIMBAHAN KAHIT WALA ANG NANAY KO. TINUTURUAN LANG TAYO NG PANGINOON NA UMALIS SA COMFORT ZONE. NAGING COMFORTABLE KASI NUNG NANDYAN ANG NANAY KO. (minsan, naiisip ko rin na sisihin ang nanay ko na hinayaang sobrang maattched ang mga tao na minsan hirap na magpatuloy dahil umalis na siya.) HINDI PO MESSIAH ANG NANAY KO. NYAY! Nakakatakot. LET US LEARN TO TRUST GOD AND THANK HIM FOR BRINGING PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES, PERO ANG MAATTACHED SA TAONG BINIGAY NG DIYOS MORE THAN JESUS AY NAKAKATAKOT NA SITUATION.LET US NOT PUT A PERSON SA PEDESTAL, KASI BAKA MAG FALL SIYA, DI RIN NATIN KAYANIN. LET US LEARN TO TRUST GOD MORE THAN PEOPLE.
LET US BE SENSITIVE SA MGA FEELINGS NG IBANG TAO. HINDI YUNG IPIPILIT LANG NATIN ANG GUSTO NATIN. WE CAN SUGGEST, PERO ANG SUBTLE MANIPULATION AY HINDI MAGANDA.
WE CANNOT KEEP A PERSON FOREVER. PEOPLE COME AND GO. WHAT IS OUR RESPONSE? THANKFUL HEART? SUPPORT? OR SELFISHNESS?
HELP US.PRAY FOR US.
MARAMING SALAMAT PO.

3 Noble Men in 3 Weeks

2006-08-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'm so honored to have a quality time with these noble men in a span of 3 weeks. The Lord is the only one who made this possible.
So I should say I had a Pseudo-love life for this month of August. I believe love naman ako ng mga guys whom I am talking about. Hehehe...
First is Karl. After a whole ngarag friday of August 11, He paid PCU a visit. Since we are bonded in the wonder of KC, He is so welcome sa fellowship. Kaya lang nagsiuwian na ang mga CICF, Nagkwentuhan na lang kami sa Boracay (place sa PCU)With Thea and mga namamasyal at pakalat-kalat na CICF. Ayaw magreply ni Sherry, kaya tuloy, kami na lang nagkwentuhan.Muntik na nya ako mapaiyak...hehehe...
Second is Paolo.After the Freshmen Treat, Last August 22, Tatawid na sana ako sa Tandang Sora para umuwi, i felt someone tapping my back. Pambihira, si Paolo-KC mate once again ang nakita ko. Goodlak naman sa amin at mag usap sa kalye, syempre, hindi ko matitiis na kabatian ko lang ang KC mate ko sa kalye. Kaya yun,we ate sa chowking and kwentuhan ng mga Ups and Downs.
Third and a gift to me is my TATAY! He fetched me at Cosmopolitan Church in Taft Avenue and we had a date in Pizza Hut Delta. Nakasandal ako sa chest ni tatay habang nasa byahe at na sa likod ng FX. I'm cherishing the moments to be secured with my tatay. Medyo naluha ako kasi I know, He will not stay for long. We are just enjoying and making the most out of our time.
During those times, I am physically tired, I guess also emotionally. Being with them is God's incentives to me.Hehehe...nah, It's God's way of showing me that He cares. As I see their lives,I see imperfection but I'm also seeing men striving to rise above the challenges and acknowledging that the strength that they have is all by God's mercy and grace.
I thank the Lord for these men.
Lord, please rise more Godly men in my sight. Ayaw ko po ng sorority. hehehe...
I love you guys!
I love you tatay.
Ingat kayo lagi.

Thanks sisters!

2006-08-20T20:26:00.000+08:00

After a week of nakakabangang, nakakapraning na buong isang linggo...

Thank you sisters for teaching to SMILE, TO LAUGH AND TO ENJOY LIFE ONCE AGAIN.

PANALO KAYO. LOVE YOU!!!

I NEED REST

2006-08-18T07:32:00.000+08:00

I need a guilt- free, all day in bed,music tripping Day off...

So Help me God.

Or else I'LL be dead in few months.

Need 2 Groups

2006-08-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

Haay Lord,
Two more to go...I need two groups where I can grow in an another phase. I hope You will open and lead me to a Christian group of artists, preferably painters and be with them and learn through them and Paint with all my heart as I see the beauty of Your creation.
Second, I want to join a dance group where I can learn interpretative dancing and worship You with all that I have.
Right now, I 'm thankful where you placed me. I'M LEARNING A LOT. Through IVCF, I'm learning servant-leadership, CICF- Application of the trainings I have, Haribon Foundation - I'm learning and appreciating Your Creation and how to protect it, I'm also welcome in Onesimo foundation where I have also group of ladies who are growing in grace in You.
NYMM. Thank you! after two years of waiting to be a part of this movement, you placed me here and partnering with "bigating" mobilizers.Hehehe...
I'm so thankful I meet different kinds of people and groups. Someday, You will lead me where I am most needed and where I will adequately grow.
Thank You. I know You'll answer me in Your time. Amen.

Science and Bible

2006-08-14T11:24:00.000+08:00

I affirm my teacher during my 4th year highschool. During our World History Class, he added to his lecture the consistency of the Bible in its contribution in documenting history of kings and kingdoms who captured Israel, apparently, are the mighty kingdoms during their times.

Also, I have watched a documentary film that presented the Bible facts and its consistency with science. It is so amazing that my faith which is anchored in the Truth (the Bible) is being affirmed by science and not the way around.

Although many scientists are said to be 'atheist' and keep on insisting that there is no God, they can't refute the reality of God's creation. My friends who loves God and is scientifically inclined (and soon they will be an excellent scientists and medical doctors) is always in awe whenever they come across a subject and science can't explain how it happened and it is intricately created, for example, the complexities of human brain and body. And it is so impossible that it is just 'evolved' by itself.

In my field of psychology, which is the study of human behavior (but I like sociology better...hehehe) theorists just mixed and evolve and created scientific terms on human behavior and emotions, which is from the start has been a constant reminder to us from God to "...guard our heart, for it is a well-spring of life." God knew better.

Psychology in its expertise aims to understand and to a wider extent, desires to treat a person as he is having an emotional or mental problem. But Jesus offers healing and freedom from the things that enslave a person. Because He is the Truth and the Life, also, the Only Way.

It is funny for other people to think that they know better when they have knowledge in science and that they doesn't need God. Others seem to believe in God, but they are so full of themselves and subtlely may think they are god and have things their own way because sometimes, if one has knowledge in science, he has the capacity to manipulate things.

After all, at the end of our road, we are still under God's mercy. What do we have to boast? Me, I just enjoy the learnings I acquire and always remind myself that Truth and all these learnings I awe to my Master. Enjoy life, cherish and value people. If I know everything in this world but does not know how to love, LIFE IS BORING.

Learning To Pray more

2006-08-08T14:59:00.000+08:00

A blessed Birthday to my Cousin- Reynalie Motin!

Pupunta ako sa kanila mamaya. Baka dun na rin ako matulog.

Kahapon, I can sense na wala sa mood ang sangkatauhan para magkitakita at mag business meeting. Personally, ako naman, parang malalaglag ang puso ko sa eekie feeling. Basta, hindi ko madescribe. Not to mention yung feeling ko na I'm so vulnerable that time. Hindi ko kakayanin if may problem na magshare sa akin. Kasi ako nga, gusto ng makakausap, Mahihingahan. Pero after the short meeting, Victorious ang Lord. Salamat sa Worship time namin sa Lord at pagcoclose ni Echo sa panalangin, I felt better. God's peace enveloped me.

I dropped by sa SM. Hehehe...feeling ko may isang malaking invisible glass ang nakashelter sa akin.Feeling ko rin lutang ako.

Lakad ang drama ko.nakakapagod din. Kaya lang nung last part na, nung naghihintay na ako ng jeep para one ride pauwi, 45 minutes- 1hour yata ako nag intay. Sa king pag-iintay, The Lord prompted me to pray all kinds of prayer...hehehe..then poof! dumating na yung jeep.

I just remember my prayer last time. I asked Him to level up my prayer life. Haay... I have so much to learn.

Ayun, thank God for rest ngayon. Kahit feeling ko vulnerable pa rin ako.

Thank God for His promises...I'm learning to claim it na.

Haay...I need to talk to kindred spirits ulit. But every body seems so busy.

Astig na Pinsan and Some rants

2006-08-06T21:36:00.000+08:00

Kanina, After lunch and after church, Cousin ko, si Rin-Rin ay naglambing sa akin na mag ARTS raw kami, I asked her what kind? sabi nya kahit ano raw. Kaya, nilatag ko ang wonder banig, nilabas ang mga art raw materials. She made a birthday card na unique at maganda, while I'm trying to finish my papier mache. Grabe, talented ng pinsan ko, She's so good in playing guitar, Drawing at ang panalo sa lahat ay ang pagiging tahimik nya. She can be with you for hours na walang reaction o salita. That doesn't bothered me. inggit nga ako sa kanya , meron siyang ganung reputation. Di tulad sa akin may expectation mag salita, at kapag nagsalita naman ako, mamimiss-interpret. Hahaha! Ironic talaga.

Tumawag si nanay kanina, wala lang akong ganang kausapin siya kasi pera na naman ang topic. I'M SO SICK ABOUT MONEY MATTERS. Iba na talaga ang dating kapag pera na ang pinag-uusapan. Parang mas importante ang magtipid kaysa ang kamustahin ako.(Haha! magdrama daw ba?!?) Oh well, the brighter side of my situation now is I'm learning to pray intelligently for my family kasi wala akong magawa sa situation namin. Ang disadvantage, Hindi ako makapagshare sa phone. I'd rather listen sa mga kwento kaysa ako ang nagkukwento. I just feel that the other party is not interested to my story. Rather, It's just me. Hindi ko lang talaga feel magkwento over the phone. Kahit nga sa tatay ko.

Days that passed, same pa din ang nararamdaman ko. I just thank the Lord sinasamahan nya talaga ako. He keeps me sane.Still experiencing the dose of my weird prayers.

May toyo ako kanina, I admit. I can tolerate some mistakes, But I guess kapag ang mistake na na commit ng tao ay opposed sa values na mayroon ako, I find it hard to to forgive. I am learning and understanding myself sa phase na ito ng buhay ko. I know should not be like this. Kasi there will be more and more people who will hurt me. I will not let it happen.

I can not disciple all. But I'm praying for 4 high school girls na pwede kong idisciple. Yung potential. At higit sa lahat, yung marunong makinig.

I am telling Pastor kanina na it is interesting to research on (and find?) guys who grew to manhood with an exceptional, if not good character , even if they grew up without a father. Kasi naman, we all know Fathers have crucial role in a child's life. And we say in fact or in theory na kaya nagiging bading o barumbado ang isang lalaki because wala siyang Ama.

I know a good guy-friend of mine na bata pa lang, wala na siyang Ama, napatay(?) But as I observe him, He is one of the gentlemen I know existing.Hehehe...I need to know others pa.

Which reminds me, I want to research on youth culture. Sana research ang work ko after I graduate.

Hmm... these are my rants for today.I'm missing my siblings so much.

ThE Calling (?!?)

2006-08-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

I Just realized, nung bagong Christian ako, or nung 1st time ko magdesire na lumago sa Panginoon, I asked for His Will...ahem, ahem, this is not the usual context ng "God's will" on waiting or looking for future partners, But to really know God's will in my life. Alam ko na nga ba? But in my present state, I can say na nalaman ko na, and that is to fall in love with my Savior each day.

Ngayon naman, level up na ba ito? I'm asking my Lord what is His calling for me after college life? I learned from mentors, mga ate sa pananampalataya,na ang Calling ng Lord may alter. Basta, gets ko sila. Dati yung fear ko sa calling ay baka ipadala ako ng Lord sa lugar na hindi ko feel, or hindi ako competent, pero magaling ang Lord. Hindi naman siya berdugo at sadista na ipipilit ang mga bagay na "hindi ko feel" hinuhubog Niya ang puso ko ayon sa nais nya. which is beautiful.

But my problem now, which also freaks me out is ang mga doubts. No question na mahal ko ang mga ginagawa ko, But what if what I'm doing and giving is not enough? Feeling ko magiging palpak ako.

Minsan na-vavibes ko na sobrang laking expectations ng mga tao sa akin, e escape artist ang inyong lingkod, kaya minsan gusto ko na lang maglaho. Kaya minsan ayaw ko magvolunteer (but if i-vovolunteer ako ng iba, ok lang..hehehe) kasi baka hindi ko kayang panindigan.

Buti na lang at the end of the day, gusto ng Lord ko na maging Anak lang Niya ako in His presence. Walang credentials,positions, etc. Just a child in His arms.

So, sa lahat ng pinasilip ng Lord na doors sa akin, saan nya kaya ako papapasukin after I graduate? And I pray na I'll graduate gracefully.

Thank you Lord!

May exams pa ako bukas.

Tagged by Rovy

2006-07-31T15:54:00.000+08:00

Hehehe...In fairness cute nitong Tag challenge dear. Medyo lampas yata sa 10.Miss you! God bless!

iNsTrUcTiOnS: Name ten (10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten (10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

10.Travel. Pamasahe lang ang dala, yet marami na ang adventure na nangyari.

9.Tumambay sa National Bookstore,bili ng book,magazine or raw material for my arts and crafts.

8.Mabigyan ng chocolates with nuts!pwede na ring chocnuts. hahaha...naalala ko nun, naiyak ako sa sobrang tuwa kasi dumating pinsan ko and mabigyan ng tsokolate, M&Ms w/Peanuts and Snickers.

7. Magbasa ng mga natapos ko ng prayer journals and high light mga quotes na nagawa ko sa sobrang senti with God.

6.Read childrens book with pictures.hehehe...

5. White roses,fireworks,love letters,star gaze in any province.hehehe

4. Arts and Craft time with my bestfriend, pwede rin mag join ang may gusto.

3.Makabili ng books,magazine, bags,any of my interests at a very low price. Yung tipong love gift na lang sa may ari ang ibabayad sa kanya. (I got Health mag for Php 25.00, Road Less Travelled from P500+ to P150 lang, Adidas big Shoulder bag worth a thousand pesos for P20.00.hehehe)

2.Heart to heart talks with kindred spirits

1.Know that I am loved.

I pass the ball to..

Tarits
Mommy Hannah
Mommy Chiri
Lady Timbrelsgreen
Bluestar_beauty
Ark
Johanna
Ate Mide
Billy
Karl

I remember...

2006-07-30T16:11:00.000+08:00

What would you do on a Sunday rainy afternoon? Me, memories flashing back...some of these are:

Intayin si Ate Jo sa terminal ng Jam Station sa Buendia,maiwan na last trip sa Lemery, bumiyahe puntang Lipa,pagbaba ay parang walang hinahabol na oras at kumain sa chowking at our own pace, paglabas ay saktong may Bus papuntang Lemery. Should we be late, sa kalye kami magpapaumaga.Pero hindi. God is just right in time. Sobrang hele kami as we travel for pre-camp time sa LCDC2K4.
I remember na nakaheart to heart talk ko agad si Kit from the first time we met sa Bataan LCDC2K2.
Miss ko na ang bonding/jamming namin sa banyo ni Tarits sa mga songs na may voice na may parts.She sings the alto part,me, the soprano. hehehe..
First time ko maivite nun as an ISCF junior counselor summer 2K3. Hahaha..ang first assignment ko ay ang mag turo sa card making workshop. And dakilang assistant sa lahat ng bagay. which is so ok.
First time to realize I can't do what I'm supposed to do (which is to be an "ate" to the young ones) and realizing its an honor to serve the Lord and nakakatakot at the same time. Sobrang iyak ko nung ISCF precamp worship time.
Worship Night nung IVCF LCDC2K4. We are a broken people giving our all and humblest worhip to the Author and Finisher of our faith. WE REALLY STAND IN AWE IN HIM DURING THAT TIME.And we are never the same after that.
IVCF LCDC2K5.Is the best LCDC for me. Not because sobrang ganda ng camp, but it was the camp I saw the Lord moved in each and every one and in the whole camp. His hand was upon us.We are humbled that it was really His work.When our strength is pushed to the limits, His grace abounds and we can all say This is Him who works.
MLC EXEC2K5 Q.T. Together in Mt. Gethsemane Tower Q.T. room. Haay...dito ko mas minahal ang MLC people and MLC ministry, how the Lord has gathered us and worhip Him in our thankfulness and tireness. Amazing how the Lord is working in and through us during this camp.
Camp Praise and Prayer Times. Mapa ISCF,IVCF-LCDC, KC Praise and prayer times makes me human and never fails to make me cry. Sobrang overwhelming, minsan wala na maipanalangin, iiyak na lang sa Lord. Sobrang amazing ang umawit ng papuri sa umaga kasama ng kapaligiran na kay ganda ng gawa ng Manlilikha.
Ang mainvite na Camp Artist sa ISCF LCDC2K6.Hesitant ako, but this is God's way for me to share my hidden talent.hehehe...
Worship time with Highschoolers in LCDC2K6. It never enough.I miss the time worhipping God in our brokeness, hiya, hesitancy,and Moses syndrome.haha
Iyakan namin ni Ida.hehehe...I really love this sister of mine.I thank and Praise God for her life.
Kawayan Camp moments. paano ko makakalimutan ito? No. 1 taga gulo ng buhay. Hehehe...anyways, I became more human, or even, this is just a haven of rest, for the rest of my life ay maalis at maalis ako sa comfort zone ko.
KC Missions experience: tumambling ako literary and left me swollen right knee due to Missions jouney and difficulty assimilation.feeling ko nga sa laki ng maga sa tuhod ko ay magkakacancer ako.hahaha...Hindi ako nakajoin sa worship time, Ate cheery joined me in weeping.I really wept very hard.
Pinaiyak ako sa song ni Karl nung worship time nung LCDC. Grr..but the Worship song is really good.
I realized that we are "first hand-student missionaries" in school. That makes my KC experience freaky.hehehe...
Good byes are the hardest. Hindi pa rin yata graceful ang IVCF on good byes.Pero ok lang. Atleast we have something to look forward to, after ungraceful goodbyes.

Marami pa iba, I believe I will remember it soon. But also, I remember my Lord's faithfulness and my kapalpakan. Still he loves me. Salamat.

Pa-Ampon

2006-07-27T00:37:00.000+08:00

Lord,

Sana may family na mag-ampon sa akin in my present state. Ano kaya ang feeling na ako naman ang inaampon? Marami ako "kapatid sa labas" by my family's choice. And I myself, in a sense ay nagkaroon ng anak, kaya lang ngayon nilayo siya sa akin.Hmm... ngayon kaya Lord sino aampon sa akin? You know my needs Lord. I believe you will answer that in Your own time.

Still, thank you for people you are placing in my life. Bless them as they blesses me.

Thank you Lord. for you are my Lord and you are in control.

I love you.

I LOVE YOU

2006-07-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

Akala ko manhid na ako...or wala na ako matututunan sa buhay. Still, The Lord is letting me learn. In tears. To be human once again, to learn to love, and fall in love with Him, til it hurts.

The core of my existence is to worship my Savior. Kaya lang minsan, it will be put to the test. Ang hirap pala.Nakakatakot. Feeling ko hindi ako papasa.

I want to give my Lord the best. Kaya lang minsan, my best is not good enough. Parang hindi papasa sa kahit na anong standards. Praise Him, he reminded me na all He wants is not my accomplishments,credentials or what I attained, He desires me to be His child who is willing to have bonding with Him, to cry to Him, and desire His presence always.

I remember my heartfelt prayers. Nung mga oras na sinabi ko yung mga prayers na iyon, umiiyak ako. Kasi nakakatakot kaya yung hinihingi ko. Bakit kasi yun ang pinagpray ko? Kasi nga, MAHAL KO SIYA.simple as that but it not seem to be that simple.

This is the dose of my prayer. Nyaknyak...konti pa lang ba ito?!? malamang.

Pero I'm still thankful. Kasi connect ako sa aking humanity and existence. Tao pa rin ako. Marunong pa rin ako umiyak.

This is worshipping in Brokenness.

I love YOU.

Trying To be nice

2006-07-21T19:48:00.000+08:00

Nah, what I read, being "nice" is "being stupid" kaya trying to be kind na lang.Last saturday, medyo sumakit ang ulo ko sa mga truths na I have to re-learn right away. Thanks for the gentle rebuke of mommy chiri.

I will re-learn to be kind and to be patient again to people I can't understand.

I'm also re-learning to connect to people who unconsciously "hurted" me. I'm not doing this kasi kaya ko, but because this is what Jesus wants me to do.He'll give me strength to obey.

***sigh***

Missing a Secured life

2006-07-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

I'm missing my secured moments. Basta...feeling ko ngayon I'm so vulnerable. Anytime magbebreak down. I'm also feeling na hindi enough ang mga efforts ko. I don't desire for affirmation. I desire for security. Kung wala as of now, have no choice.This is what I chose. Intay lang ng konti... UWIAN NA...bakit kasi ang tagal-tagal.

I have no one to talk to...kawawa naman ang makakarinig ng kwento ko.

Gusto ko bumalik sa Gethsemane Prayer Mountain!!!!

MAAWA KA...

Announcements Muna ulit...

2006-07-19T12:27:00.000+08:00

IVCF Corporation Meeting

Punta Kayo...hopefully makapunta din ako. may class ako nyan e.

Announcements Muna...

2006-07-19T12:20:00.000+08:00

HARIBON FORUM FOR JULY:

GOING NATURAL: What are the benefits of organic food and farming?
July 20, 2006;
6:00 PM
Meralco Mini-Theater,
Lopez Building, Meralco CenterOrtigas Avenue, Pasig City
Entrance fees are P20 for students and P50 professionals/ non-students.

Haribon Members get 10% off! We request that you confirm your attendance by calling Vyxz Vasquez at436-4363 or 920-7430 or email us at advocacy@haribon.org.ph,

Please feel free to print and post this on your office/church/barangay/school Bulletin Board!

Sana masurvive ko ito...

2006-07-14T10:46:00.000+08:00

May reporting ako. Still I'm not ready. Sana masurvive ko ngayung araw. Ayaw ko na nasa ibang lugar kapag malakas ang ulan. I hate it, especially when I'm in school during rainy days. May trauma na ako na mastranded anywhere other than home. haay....

PROVE THEM

2006-07-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

Di pa raw kasi ako naiin-love kaya ganito ako, Parang sabi ng friend ko na nirerefute sya nang sinabi nya sa iba na "You become wise from learning from your mistakes, but you are wiser if you learn from others mistakes"...hindi sila naniniwala sa kanya.

Parang ganun din ako ngayon.Ibang anggulo nga lang." Hindi ka pa kasi na-iinlove kaya mo nasasabi yan..." ay utang na loob! yeah, I may be wrong sa mga pasaway na side comments ko kanina, but my whole point is, (which, they didn't gave me the chance to speak up 'coz they "know" more) When you said GOODBYE,GOODBYE NA. wala nang balikan. grr...pakialaman ba lovelife ng may lovelife. Also,bumabalik kung sino ang love mo.If the person is really is a JESUS FREAK,SOBRANG IN LOVE KAY JESUS,PATI ANG MAIN-LOVE SA TAO AY BINUBUNO AT HINIHINGI PA SA DIYOS. AT HINDI MAGPAPAKATANGA AT MAGPAPABUNTIS.

sO, FOR SHORT, Hindi nakakatulong ang mga remarks nila...Nakakainis

NAG GIGRIEVE LANG KASI ANG HEART KO SA MGA YOUTH WHO MADE THE OLDIES THINK THAT WAY. BUT I BLAME THE OLDIES DIN IN A WAY NA THEY DIDN'T MAKE THE EFFORT TO REACH OUT TO THESE YOUTH NA SINASABI NA MAAGA MAGLANDI. AND THEY HAVE THE NERVES NA SABIHIN NA "A...GANITO TALAGA KAYONG KABATAAN....BLAH...BLAH..."

MASAKIT.THEY DON'T CARE.

KAYA FOR YOU CHRISTIAN YOUTH OUT THERE...MGA JESUS FREAK, PROVE THOSE OLDIES (OR YUNG PESSIMISTIC AT HINDI NAKAKATUWANG SPIRIT NA MERON SILA) THEY ARE WRONG.

I KNOW WE CAN ONLY STAY PURE BY GOD'S GRACE.

LET YOUR LIFE SHOW WHO'S IN CONTROL. REACH OUT...LET US NOT COMMIT THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN.LET US MAKE JESUS SMILE.

DUMB CONVERSATION

2006-07-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

What do you get from talking to an old lady with a fixed mind and an old maid who only believes what she is seeing?You get a DUMB CONVERSATION. I'm not saying that they are DUMB. what makes the whole thing DUMB was that their minds are closed and they are sold out in what they believe.

They won't listen. Perhaps, I can sense that they won't listen to what I will say, and the whole situation turned out to be that I'm the looser.

I don't know. Although they won't listen, I know in my heart that what the Bible says is true than believing the reality that's happening.

Sakit lang sa ulo. But I have to set my self free.

So, I rented 4 vcds to soothe my soul. Ayaw ko ng kausap pag galit ako.I may release anger sa makikinig.kawawa naman sila pag magkataon. Besides, sometimes I'm tired of myself hearing same old hang-ups again. thanks to techie...on the other hand, I need money.hehehe...

Reminders to Self...

2006-07-08T21:17:00.000+08:00

Lorah, you need to be extra kulit.discern alibis, know your ground, demand what is good,YOUR AUTHORITY IS FROM AND THROUGH THE ONE WHO PLACED YOU THERE.

Don't easily be intimidated.Be intrinsically motivated by your Master.

Live Life eachday.Creatively.

Problems are ment to be solved and Prayed for.Not to think over.

Filter every info you receive.Strain through God's Word.

Be a Friend.But don't compromise what the TRUTH says.

Rest. Have time for your self.

Pray through.

Affirm.Look at the good of the people.

Manage your time. Sacrifice is inevitable.

Sabi ng mga ate, Take it easy...relax.

Be inlove to the One who promised and will always be faithful.

Lord...help.

I need Grace

2006-07-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

I don't blame anybody...maybe for one...Myself.

I just feel so alone.

I'm with people but they seem so distant.

Or maybe its just me.

I don't know what to say.

I don't bother people who doesn't care...

I desire for people who love the Lord.

My inner circle are away...I don't know if I'm welcome to somebody's life.

I need grace. I need miracle.

smile...

2006-06-26T10:41:00.000+08:00

Hahaha! Ang GALING!GALING!GALING! talaga ni God! He really knows how to make me smile.medyo na lessen ang stress ko. He is teaching me to wait,to live life and appreciate people who loves me. Thanks "mare" for being happy for me.hehehe...we need to celebrate!

magiging girl din ako someday...magkakaroon yun ng kaganapan.hahahaha!!!!

C.I.C.F. meeting

2006-06-23T10:30:00.000+08:00

Please pray for wisdom,enthusiam and willingness to serve as we have our planning in our school fellowship.Campus Impact Christian Fellowship. Later at 7:30 pm til tommorow lunch time. Thanks!

On Forgiveness

2006-06-20T11:16:00.000+08:00

Napaka buti ng Lord. Alam niya kung kailan lalabas ang alburuto ko, a.k.a. issues, He helps me get away with it gracefully.He loves me. And I am very much aware of what is happening to me. That time, I was so angry with him I resolve not to talk to him anymore. Besides, feeling ko lahat naman ng sasabihin nya kasinungalingan, and He may not consider me a friend in the first place. So, bakit ko sasayangin oras ko sa kanya? But I know in my heart that what I'm thinking was not right. I will be enslaved with my own selfish thoughts.Pero pinalipas muna ito ng Lord. He dealt with me last night until midnight in a gentle manner.

That moment time na naiinis ako,namasyal muna ako sa mall of Asia with group of new friends. I hope they continue to know the Lord. Then, between me and my God, I know I have to forgive. If not, maliit na lang ang tingin ko sa kanya-sa kanila. And that is bad for my health.

Besides,mahal ko ang Lord ko, i desire no one to hinder our relationship.Haay...May I continue to see people the way my Lord sees them.

How can you be?

2006-06-19T10:58:00.000+08:00

How can you be a servant in the midst of glitze and glamour of fame?

please answer this...just wondering...

Monday Stress

2006-06-19T10:50:00.000+08:00

Stressed na ako.Wala pa subjects available for a graduating like me.Pasaway kasi ang department.walang sistema..ayun,feeling ko, lalagnatin ako.haayyy...

aryt...hindi ko naman madadala ang subjects ko sa kabaong. so dapat, I learn to relax...

ok lorah, value people...bahala na ang subjects. Bahala na si God humampas sa pasaway na department.

On Love life and Obedience

2006-06-18T13:25:00.000+08:00

THE GREATEST ADVICE

Don't date because you are desperate.

Don't marry because you are miserable.

Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.

Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.

Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.

Don't dictate because you are smarter.

Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.

Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.

Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.

Don't stagnate! Don't regress.

Don't live in the past.

Time can't bring anything or anyone back.

Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.

Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.Find a new friend.

Start a new career.

Sometimes, there is no race to be won.

Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.

To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.

To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.

Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.

Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.

Be true to yourself.

Don't commit when you are not ready.

Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.

Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.

Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry. Love Deeply. Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon.

Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself.

Don't wait for someone to take care of you.

You light up your life.

You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age.

It only gets more challenging.

Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.

Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.

Don't lose faith in your God.

Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.

Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.

Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.

--Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Haha! I remember some people I know who are desperate to find a partner, or , another way around, married or already have kids at a very early age. This kind of news really makes my heart break.The Lord Jesus Christ prepared a LIFE for us, only if we loose our lives for Him. And having a married life is not the end point...its just a beginning of obeying God together.Besides, LIFE WORTH LIVING IS A LIFE LIVED FOR GOD. If we realize how much God gave and endured for us, we can't do anything but OBEY.Of course, everybody wants to end up in a happy ending. I have also seen people who waited for God, and had an abundant life. Not that they became rich or had romantic life together, but they have a life that seeks and obeys the Lord. Oh well, ‘nuff said. God bless us all.

***************

This was my reflections last year. Right now, my new reflection on lovelife is OBEDIENCE.Obedience not to the flesh but Obedience to God who directs the path of two people who loves Him and together would work out His plans. I thought this is freaky...hehehe...I'm not sure. But I like this kind of love story. I hope we would all learn this kind of obedience even in this portion of our lives. I thank the Lord for people who are close to my heart who did this. Accepting the love of their lives by obeying God. I have so much to learn.

Sprinkle of Grace

2006-06-16T17:03:00.000+08:00

Yehey! I'm seeing sprinkle of grace this past few days. Thanking Him for His love and simple,meaningful gifts and Healing. I've experience once again torn in my flesh,I had pain in my lower back. I became paranoid thinking either it is a pelvic bone or kidney problem. The excruciating pain I've experienced is causing my back to arch, and its so awful I had to lay in bed. I never thought that this would be this painful because in the past I've been experiencing it but it just last for a while.But I'm experiencing the from June 5 until last tuesday.

I am convinced last tuesday that I needed check-up. Then started my worries. I texted people to pray for my health and am overwhelmed with their response.And for that, I'm grateful in the Lord for giving me people who cares and prayed and is praying for and with me.

My young nurse friends are so concerned on my health, so is my med close friends. I can say that they will be a good public servants someday because thay have a heart that cares. God bless them and I love them.

Also, our staff personally visited me that tuesday when I'm experiencing this pain.Her presence means a lot. She is my angel sent by God that time. She even went with us to the clinic for check up last wednesday. I had my urine and stool test,Blood chem and bone x-ray. The doc who checked on me is cute...hehehe...

Now, the results of the tests are ok. except for the bone x-ray that will be out next week. Meaning, the pain that I'm experiencing is due to my bones. This morning, Before I took the results of the tests, my prayer is that if they have found something wrong in me, may it be manageable to cure, I don't like bad news on my health. Because I'm also health conscious as my worship to God. To be ill because of my own doing is a sin. For He desires my body to be healthy and to do His will effectively and efficiently.

I hope to know what's wrong inside me. I hope there will be ways to minimize the pain I'm experiencing.

Confession: Our staff asked me if I cried because I'm sick and nanay is not beside me?

Answer: Yes I cried. But not because nanay is not around. Because I felt God's overwhelming presence in the midst of the extreme pain I am experiencing. Indeed, He is so close to the broken and crushed. He is so merciful, in suffering I found joy, because Jesus is with me. Praise be to our Lord Jesus who bore our sin,brokeness and frailty.

***thanks ate! for taking time knowing and checking out on me and knowing my deepest heart's desires. love you!***

Promises... Broken pROMISES...Pwe.

2006-06-14T20:36:00.000+08:00

Grr...nababanas talaga ako kapag inaassure ako sa mga bagay na dapat mangyayari and in the end tataasan ka ng boses at sasabihin na hindi pwede. Pwe! Ang ayos ayos ng usapan tapos magkaka-gaguhan...sorry for the word. Yung bagay na hinihingi ko ay hindi malaki. And that thing that I am asking for is what I need. It is not a want. Ang capricho ko, hindi ko ginugulo magulang ko, pinaghihirapan ko yun. Naiinis lang ako sa feeling na kailangan ko magmakaawa. Sa Diyos lang ako humihingi ng awa. Kaya naiinis ako sa mga tao na feeling nila may utang na loob ako sa kanila.

*hingang malalim Lorah...hinga...

I'm home...

2006-06-11T20:02:00.000+08:00

...and missing them. rest muna ako.

Summer Adventure Posts

2006-06-04T20:34:00.000+08:00

summer adventure story coming soon!

Communion and Religiosity

2006-06-04T19:56:00.000+08:00

Communion Sunday kanina sa Capiz Evangelical church. Hindi catch-y sa akin ang theme ng church about "SUCCESS". Ayaw ko kasi ang prosperity preaching. Jesus calls us the other way.The way of the cross. But thank God for people who are faithful to God's Word and delivered God's message to God's people the way He wanted it. The story is about Zaccheus.Jesus story with this little guy has also been my favorite. Praise God for new insights and affirmed reflections on Jesus' words,..."I came to seek and save which was lost." A lost thing for me is something that is primarily owned by someone and for some reasons was lost. It is valued, It would not called and considered "lost" if the owner would not bother to search for that thing. The speaker who was a woman and the Church missionary shared to us that this kind of being "lost" is the cause of sin that we lost our dignity as human,our capicity to reach to God is lost, our relationship to God, to other humans and God's creation is lost. (medyo mabigat na theology, but she just shared these reasons how lost are we) The message was really a WOW! Kakalasing. Amazing.

Then, Communion time. I'm not excited like this before. Sabik talaga ako magcommunion. Not that I feel so good before Him today, but I never felt this feeling before na sobrang excited and meaningful ang pagreremember sa body and blood of Jesus Christ.He is so good. 2 months ako hindi nakapagcommunion. Not that I'm pasaway,Nasa mga lugar lang ako kung saan ako nilead ng Lord. Apparently, Hindi ko naabutan ang makaattend sa church na may communion. And then yun nga, napaka Holy ang moment that time.I asked for forgiveness before our Lord before taking communion. What matters that time was that I am like a child na sobrang excited to have fellowship and meet her Father.

Then, kanina sa bahay, beside our apartment there's a catholic church.Lakas nga ng bell e. Medyo napasilip ako ano ginagawa ng mga tao,Tapos na ang misa.But i saw them praying.Pwede kong isipin na nag-e-SR sila (Spiritual Retreat), I'm humbled. They have reverence for the church.I pray may God grant their deepest desire, and that is, God would reveal Himself to them.Haha!Minsan dito palpak ang Protestants. Libangan manita ng church,Hindi na nakikita ang Diyos ng church.or nabublur lang sa kapalpakan ng kapatiran. Mahirap mag Unlearn minsan. I don't blame people who drifts away,Pero dapat bumalik rin sila sa stream.Stream of unity of the Body of Christ. But those who cause division sana mag-isipisip na.Bka ibang espiritu meron yun.hahaha!

sermon ko rin sa sarili ko ito.Galing talaga ni Lord. Tinuturuan pa rin Niya ako.

Before ang madugong Reflections...Usapang Angel muna.hehehe

2006-05-25T15:32:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko pa tapos ang book review ko...Este, Reflections and Response sa book na bigay sa akin ni Pastor Rex. Kaya ito muna. Panggulo ng utak, thanksgiving as well.

Sumakay kami ng Cebu Pacific plane papunta dito sa Roxas. Infairness, ma-alog siya. Pasaway ako. Hindi ako nagchew ng gum. Naidlip lang ako. Pero iniimagine ko na punta na ako ng heaven...Sana diredirecho na.hahahah!Sarap pala ng feeling. At may naalala ako.Some eon years ago...

"Mag- aral ka na lang sa PATTS.Sama tayo."

" Ha?!? ok ka lang?!? ang cute-cute ko kaya para mag PATTS"- I laugh.

Ahahaha...asan na kaya yung taong yun? he really dreams of being a pilot someday. Kaya lang di na siya nagpaparamdam sa akin ngayon. Di pa kami nagkikita. Haay...i shoo him away. I didn't mean it. Hindi lang siya sanay sa akin.Kumusta na kaya siya? In fairness, he was my angel when I was to give up on myself and what I believe. He came to my life and made a difference, not by telling me what to do, but seeing the difference in his life by following his Lord. Ngayon, wala akong balita sa kanya. I hope to hear from him soon. I hope He still hold on.I hope He's still my angel. Nevertheless, I thank God for angels He provide whenever I feel alone, or am about to give up. In the new phase of my life,sino kaya ulit ang ibibigay ng Lord na "angel" ko? I also pray the good Lord continue to sustain the angels of my life.

Hope he reads this.ahahahah!

Punta kami ng "Baybay" mamaya...hope to see the sun sets sa dagat...

Broke and Broken

2006-05-23T14:53:00.000+08:00

Dito na ako sa Capiz. Kasalukuyang nakatunganga sa bahay na nirent ni nanay. Nandun na ang mga gamit. Tumulong ako sa pag aayos ng ilang mga gamit, pero makalat pa rin.Kasi may mga gamit pa na si nanay ang dapat mag-ayos. Masaya ang bonding ko with my sibs. Food trip. Hanggang ngayon ay naloloka ra rin ako sa kapaligiran ko. Ang main city ay kaya ko libutin at lakarin. At isa pa, Walan magawa kasi we're broke. Si nanay, wala sa sarili nung bigyan kami ng pera.Aparently, yung pera na dapat baon namin ay nagastos sa Boarding Fee ng Cebu Pacific. Kumusta naman yun diba? Goodluck sa amin. Hindi pa kami iniwan ng pera ng tita ko nung isang araw.hehehe...no choice, kundi ang magbolahan kami sa bahay, at maghanap ng pwedeng pagkain na mapagtitripan. Kaya lang sa walang humpay na bonding namin, gusto parin ng soul ko to spend a time alone with my Maker...

May pasaway ako na kilala na nagcomment about sa Capiz.Sabi nya, hindi raw nababagay si Lorris sa Capiz.She can do greater things at wag raw sana maconfine sa Capiz. Low daw ang quality. Alam ko ang point nya. Pero naintindihan ko ang nanay ko. She is more conern sa character building than the skills that we will learn. Kaya siguro ayaw kami mag UP. hehehe...
So yun, back to the topic. Basically,that person does not know our case fully. Bahala siya sa buhay nya. Basta kami, sumusunod lang sa Panginoon.

Muli, I'm contemplating of being alone, pero when I'm seeing my sibs na masmapapabuti sila sa ganitong set up, I'm thankful and I'm turning ok. Lupit ng Lord ko. Ganito pala ang ibig sabihin na leaving my family and follow Him. E ang kaso, buong family kami ang magfollow sa Lord, kaya we will leave one another. hahaha!!!

Being broke and broken...bagong learning na naman ito. Sana maing worthwhile ang stay ko dito.May i go back home renewed,with new hopes and blessings.

***Thanks for praying for us. pray for us still. God bless you

dami ko na pwede STATEMENT ng T-shirt...hehehe

2006-05-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

No One Can Bug me anymore...

'coz I'm DEAD.

Gets?!?

Ito muna...

2006-05-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

Grabe...the Lord is moving through the prayers of His saints. The Lord is answering prayers and hearts desire kahit nakahibernate ako sa ministry na mahal ko. Hindi Nya ako kailangan. He is moving in the hearts of the people. I am just here to be faithful.

Kagabi hanggang kaninang 4:30am,(May 19-20) we had overnight prayer meeting. Talagang inordain ni God ang oras na iyon for us to pray kahit na majority namin ay wala sa hwistyo (tama ba spelling?). Marami kasing worries at mga kabusyhan. Effort talaga ang umattend. I'm the one who facilitated the prayer time. But i also asked for assistance kay kuya alvin and ka Lolit to facilitate the prayer meeting. Umpisa pa lang, I am intimidated by the enemy. ang likod ko parang kinokoryente,tulala at hindi ko feel ang preparations. But still, He is faithful and merciful. Hindi Nya hahayaan mahumiliate Name nya. I asked for forgiveness. I'm still willing to be used by my Lord. Feelings ko lang nagbabago, pero buo na ang loob ko na maglingkod.

Some people in the groups are testing my patience. I asked God to give me extra grace to extend to them. "Kinakayanan lang nila ako kasi bata ako..." kaya go lang. I'm doing this for the Lord. I'm focusing my attention sa mga taong willing makinig.

Basta...so may mga ganung drama. What blessed me was when I have the chance makipagkwentuhan sa ibang youth (highschoolers) in between prayer times and see how God is moving in their lives. Sabi ng isang nakausap ko, "ate, tinatanong ako ng ibang kaibigan ko bakit pa ako nagsisimba dito, ano raw ang mapapala ko dito? sabi ko, marami ako natutunan dito at nasa mabuti akong kamay kaya wala ako nakikitang masama na nandito ako..."
waaaah!!! I'm so humbled and amazed. Ang Diyos ang may gawa nun!!! hibernate ako sa youth ministry nitong mga nakaraang buwan kasi wala ako naririnig na feedback kung gusto o ayaw ng youth fellowship. Kanina rin...ang ibang youth ay humihiling na mag youth camp kami!!!! TODO na ito! this is exactly what i want to happen.grabe! ansaya.

Nung malapit na matapos ang Prayer time, tinuruan namin sila ng song na may blending, yung " You are Holy" medyo malabo ang pagkakasulat ng lyrics sa acetate para sa projector, kaya ang mga oldies ay nag-jijinarte na hindi nila mabasa. I understand na hindi nila mabasa and i apologize for that.Technical error yun,pero kailangan bang paulit-ulit na sabihin na hindi mabasa? I saw a smile on nanay's face nung kinanta na namin ang song, in the midst ng reklamo ng ibang nanay. Natuwa siya sa essence and meaning ng song na winoworship si God in different names. Tanggal lahat ng inis ko sa mga mareklamo. Nung nakita ko nanay ko na nakangiti sa akin means na may saysay ginagawa ko...what more pa kaya ang Father? I long to see Him pleased with me. haayy..

Victorious ang Panginoon that night. I just pray na maging sensitive ang ibang anak ng Diyos sa leading ng Holy Spirit at bawas-bawasan ang reklamo at sobrang salita. Sometimes, God desires His children to shut up and listen.

Marami pang kwento...ito muna.

Re-Learning

2006-05-19T17:25:00.000+08:00

I'm re-learning to....
...Trust
...be gracious
...be patient
...persevere
...Endure
... pray fervently
...Sacrifice
...Love
...focus on Christ alone.
...SURRENDER

I desire You my Master. Reign in me.

Blessed Be...

2006-05-18T13:27:00.000+08:00

The Lord giveth...The Lord taketh away...Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Iniwan na naman ako ng isang angel sa buhay ko.

Aalis na silang lahat.

Ganito talaga buhay, need to get over this.

Kapag may dumadating, sabay-sabay..pag may aalis, alis silang lahat.

It makes me human.Teaches me to trust Him more.

I love you Lord! thank you for giving me angels...wala po ako reklamo if you will take them away. You are my Lord.

Hope to see you again Bebem...I love you.

You don't deserve this...

2006-05-17T01:08:00.000+08:00

Missin you so much...You don't deserve what you are experiencing right now. I love you...hoping for your quick healing, of the body and soul.

Centre of My Life

2006-05-15T12:14:00.000+08:00

Centre of My Life
From Hillsong London "Shout God's Fame"

Let my walk speak loud, and my words be true
Let my life be whole, with my eyes on You.
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You

Freedom comes, when I call You Lord
You are Lord, my God!

You are the centre of it all
The universe declares in awe
Your majesty, I surrender all
I make You centre of my life
Lord I respond with all I am
You placed in me the song of heaven's melody
Your majesty, I live to sing Your song

I have found Your peace, it replaces any fear
You have done it all, I can trust in You.
Lord I'm stepping out, from the comfort zone
Letting go of me, holding on to You

This is your song,that brings healing to this land
This is your song, not mine
It is Your song, that brings freedom

This is my song of the moment...grabe talaga ang Lord.Pinapatulan ako sa mga panalangin ko na alam ko mahirap...But what can I do? my heart and the Spirit of the Lord helps me to utter these kinds of prayer. Inaalis nya ako sa comfort zone. nakakatakot. Grabe bunuan sa panalangin...but I really love my Lord kahit marami ako shortcomings...May He continue to be with me. Days from now, my family will be away from me.After 20 years of existence, akala ko gradual ako ihihiwalay ng Lord sa family ko, eto ako...nagpapakatapang, but the Lord knows what's in my heart. He is training me to be away from my comforts and fully trust in Him. Yes, i must learn to trust. Parang akong isang bata na nasa gutter lang lagi ng swimming pool when daddy is telling me to let go and swim with Him. I still worship Him in what He is doing to my life and in my brokenness...

What happened to me?

2006-05-04T12:05:00.000+08:00

I got this short reflection from a friend from her blog.

SOWING WITH TEARS Is what I'm doing right now. Though I scatter the seed while weeping, I believe in the harvest.

I was doing this before. What happened to me? i allowed my hurt to subdue me...I should re-learn this thing once again. Only through bended knees we can draw people in the Lord. This is not an easy thing to do. In fact,it hurts. Through hurts and pruning from Him and in the ministry can I can grow and be a tree that is planted in the waters and bears fruit.

Focus dear...you have so many things to do. But rest in God's care. You are loved.

Pwede Naman

2006-05-03T14:20:00.000+08:00

Pwede Naman
Pwede namang ayawan na
Pwede namang wala nang pakialamanan
Pwede naming magbingi-bingihan
Sa mga bagay na dapat pakinggan.
Pwede naming magpasaway at bumalik sa dating buhay na walang gumagabay
Pwede naman…pwede naman

Ngunit pinili ko ang manatili
Tahakin ang landas na hindi kaakit-akit
Pinili ko ang maglingkod at magmahal
Sapagkat minsan nang naranasan ang pag-ibig na wagas
Mahirap. Hindi madali, ang panindigan ang pinili.
Ngunit…ngunit
Buhay na walang hanggan at pag-ibig na
Nagdulot ng kamatayan sa aking Panginoon
Hindi mapigilan ang mapaluha at mag-isip.

Pwede naming hindi tanggapin
Ang pag-ibig na alay sa akin
Pwede naming ayawan na sa
hirap naKatapat sa pagsunod sa daan ng tunay na buhay.
Pwede naman…Pwede naman.

Ngunit pinili kong manatili
Bigyang lugod at ngiti sa labi
Ang Diyos na nagbigay buhay sa akin
Pwede rin naming manatili sa Kanyang pag-ibig
At magpatuloy sa landas na dapat tahakin.

December Posts

2005-12-20T22:42:00.001+08:00

December 17, 2005
Amazing Race...
My schedule was so jammed packed.partida whole day ko...
till 3am ang kwentuhan namin ni Bes-Jen...
10:00am-2:30pm @ Ida's place, nagpaka busy-busyhan ako sa counselors' treat.

Between 3:00-5:00pm, amazing race kami ni Sherry together with Karl,Rein and Jhun papunta sa bahay namin,pag-grocery for the Christmas outreach,at pagtungo sa Antipolo.

5:00-9:00pm nauna na sila nagstart sa outreach,late kami dumating pero nakapag bonding kami with the street kids, sina Sherry,Always,Anne, Franz at Joel ang kasama ko at sa place ni Tala kami nag outreach. It was so much fun, humbling and meaningful fellowship with the kids at sa mga churchmates ni Tala.

11:00pm I arrived home na.

Bukas,after church,punta yata kami sa pacita sa Laguna,manonood ng Cantata then sa Monday magpapaka busy-busyhan ako sa Anniversary at Christmas fellowship ng Life Change. Wala naman ako pera, pero bakit ganito ako ka-busy? hehehe...oh well...

Uuwi na lang ako, uminit pa ang ulo ko kasi walang nagsundo sa akin.
*Asar ako kasi kaya ko naman umuwi ng mag isa,kailangan ko pa ng sundo.
*Ayaw ko kasi nag-iintay sa mga bagay na kaya ko namang gawin.
*Kapag nagpasundo ako at walang nagsundo,makes me feel inferior. nababanas talaga ako.dapat sa ibang route na lang ako dumaan mag isa without anybody's help.
*Kapag late ang pagsundo,naiirita rin ako,lalo pa pag maaga naman ako magtext para magpasundo. ayaw ko mag ulit ng text,sayang sa load.nakakabwisit.
*Dapat kasi may sarili na akong car,hindi na ako nababanas.
*What is due to me. Very particular ako sa ganito. This is not being selfish,this is being just to myself. Kailangan ko kunin ang mga THINGS THAT IS DUE TO ME.I am serving other people,pero kapag feeling ko hindi ko nakikita ang mga bagay na due to me, nababanas rin talaga ako.
Basta,the whole point is,kung hindi ako kayang sunduin,magtext kaagad at hindi yung nag-iintay ako sa wala.

Sige...bukas ko na lang iboblog ang kilig moments ko....

December 05, 2005
Sinisingil na ako ng health ko...
Bad...Sinisingil na ako ng health ko. ang aking size ay hindi na kaya ng aking bones. kailangan na talaga mag loose ng weight. so help me God. Help me people. I want to be a good testimony even sa aking weight. And I want to live a healthy life kasi I am following the Lord and eventually will follow Him in a place He will lead me. Help me. thank you.

December Posts

2005-12-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

Between 3:00-5:00pm, amazing race kami ni Sherry together with Karl,Rein and Jhun papunta sa bahay namin,pag-grocery for the Christmas outreach,at pagtungo sa Antipolo.

11:00pm I arrived home na.

2005-12-20T22:37:00.000+08:00

November 27, 2005
Missionaries have special place in my heart.Ü
Grabe talaga ang Lord magpaoverwhelm and mag challenge. Just when I am giving up to the reality's deception, His TRUTH always prevails.Muntik na akong masanay sa mga taong complacent. na so-so lang ang buhay pagtitiwala sa Diyos, nakakahawa pala yun.Muntik na akong maniwala at mahawa...nakakatakot! and i just remember that my greatest fear is to become the person I hated the most. A complacent person who no longer sees God work in his life, a person who became apathetic due to life's injustices and hopelessness. I hate those kinds of people,I also fear I might become one.yikes!
I love nanay...I can see her passion and she has one of a kind gift. A gift of giving.Generous giving. She gives to the men and women of God, to the missionaries. For me, having missionary in our home is a great privelege,it is like once again seeing Jesus in the flesh. Their first-hand story of God's faithfulness makes me teary-eyed. I treat them as celebrities, they are worth to be admired, to be treated special, to honor and to immitate.
Tatay Jesse came last saturday,3am. He is our guest speaker for the last sunday of our Missions Month.He is fondly called Kuya Jesse by my mother. He was her counselor during her Kawayan Camp '75. He is from Bacolod,serve as an IVCF Staff for 11 years and eventually led by the Lord to be a church planter, missionary in the cold mountains of Ifugao for 24 years. Just knowing his roots and what he is doing right now is what I called really a major cultue change, or as IVCF puts it, he went cross-cultural. Now, He is 60 years old with a youthful heart offered to the Lord and with a wisdom endured from experience, from loving God's word,His presence and His people. Having a short chit-chat with him is so precious for me. He is a man who really loves his Lord and the people whom the Lord led him to minister
He has a pure heart seeing the unseen. He has a grateful spirit that encourages those who give to him in the Lord to faithfully continue what they are doing. Through His life radiates a life who dies for his Master everyday and experiencing His love.
I desire to experience and to gain what he have, but I know it is costly. I am deeply humbled seeing his life.
Thank You tatay Jesse for living faithfully and for loving wholeheartedly our Lord and Savior. You challenge me to love my Jesus more and more in my youth. I want to visit you...I want to see what path you have taken. Just wait for us. we love you.
Missionaries have special place in my heart.

November 20, 2005
A Glimpse of You...
You Just make me smile.wala lang. Am just enjoying your presence...

November 10, 2005
rich and the poor
The Lord calls us to have compassion for the poor. Yet, the elite also needs the saving grace of our Lord...how can I reach out to these kinds of people?!? how?!? how?!? argh..teach me Lord.

October Posts

2005-12-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

October 29, 2005
SHARE KO LANG
TIRED.
CULTURE-SHOCKED.
ENJOYED FELLOWSHIP OF BELIEVERS.
AWED BY GOD'S MIGHTY DEEDS.
THANKFUL OF HIS TRANSFORMING POWER.
WHAT AN HONOR TO SERVE THE KING OF KINGS!
AMEN.

October 12, 2005
kahit ngarag...
excited na ako for lcdc!!!
waaahhh
kahit ngarag dahil may mga final papers pang ginagawa,all i can say mga tumutulong is,
GOD BLESS YOU
and i really mean it.
love you guys!the best talaga kayo.

October 11, 2005
Retreat After All of these
I desire to have a retreat after the camp, After catering other people.
I think I have become a martha...doing things for the King but i know in my heart i have so many shortcomings to my Lord.
I hope a family would adopt for the meantime as i have a retreat.
I am praying for one now. I hope they would open their doors for me.
I want to be with You Lord.I want to be with You...

October 06, 2005
Kuya TeddyÜ
During one of our casual talks...
Lorah: "Ate Jo, palagay mo ba friends kami ni kuya Tedz?"
Ate Jo: "Oo naman...diba na-hug ka na nya?"
Lorah: "Ha?!?kelan? nakalimutan ko na."
Ate Jo:"Nung naiyak ka dahil sa nangyari kay Ron,na-hug ka ni kuya Teddy..."
Lorah: "palagay mo? friends na kmi?"
Ate Jo: "knowing kuya Teddy? yun ba e yayakap ng kung sinu-sino lang? hindi noh.syempre sa mga taong close na nya."
Lorah: "Tahimik kasi si kuya.Pero sensible naman ang kwentuhan namin.Baka kasi ako lang ang may feeling na friends kami. Kasi diba,may mga taong close ako, tas,di ko alam ako lang pala nag-aassume nun."
Ate Jo: "oo nga. gets kita.pero,iba si kuya Tedz diba?"
Lorah "oo nga...I agree...Ü"
Wala lang. After this October,Kuya will follow the Lord as He will take the responsibility as a pastor of their church in Muntinlupa.All I can say is Kuya is Unique.hehehe...at mas naappreciate ko ang diversity ng personalities ng mga ivcf staff.It is not a cliche talaga na may certain ugali ang dapat nasa staff work.hehehe...
Sabi ko kanina Kuya has different personalities. He can be a male counterpart of Elisabeth Elliot as he writes through his blog.Parang pinaghehele ang readers. so gentle writer. Sa personal naman, pwedeng tahimik,pero kung nasa mood ay pwede ring mangulit! and most of all, and the exciting part is, ibang iba siya when he speaks and exhort God's word.Sobrang passionate, nakakachallenge.nakakapang-gising (or baka sa amin lang yun?hehehe...joke)
I pray the Lord will continue to bless him at sana maipagpatuloy parin ang communication sa aming mga students. Yun nga. tahimik kasi minsan talaga ni kuya, pero pag magkwento naman ay walang humpay. I hope friends nga talaga kami.hehehe...
Kuya Tedz. God bless you abundantly.

October 03, 2005
thoughts sa Lovelife nila
yari na...may mga lovelife na sila. Wala naman akong problema sa mga lovelife nila, pero nalulungkot lang ako kasi feeling ko, hindi naman nila pinag-isipan ang pag kakaroon ng commitment, isa pang nalulungkot ako, kasi di nila magrasp na kelangan kasama si Lord sa mga lovelife nila.or isa pa,kasi hindi ko friend ang mga lovelife nila.
Yung isa nga e...iba kung makatitig ang guy sa akin. parang kukunin ko ang girl friend nya.parang gusto ako awayin!nyahaha...feeling.
nakakainis.nakakalungkot.

2005-12-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

September 25, 2005 Song from the heart
Make Me a Servant

Make me a servant

humble and meek

Lord let me lift up

Those who are weak

and may the Prayer

of my heart always be

Make me a servant,

Make me a servant

Make me a servant today

oh! how i missed Psalty and his songs.I am just reminded that the Psalty songs also molded my character.I wish kids who sings in church will keep in their hearts the true meaning of the songs and soon the Lord will use the songs for His glory.Ü

September 22, 2005Kilig rin pala...
hehehe...masaya rin pala man trip at magkwentuhan ng imaginary lovelife with nanay.try nyo! saya!Ü

September 21, 2005 Smile
They smiled at me.I thank God for that wonderful sincere smiles. i may not know what they are going through,but I know God is working in them.I hope we could have more time to know each other, i hope i could hear their personal stories upclose and personal.Highschool.So vulnerable,yet a fertile ground to share God's love.I'm honored to be their ate. I continue to pray to have more opportunities to know them...and to serve them.Their smile is the best reward I just received. Thank God for simple yet rewarding prize.Ü

September 18, 2005
Giving back to the Giver of Good gifts
Aalis na naman isang taong malapit sa buhay ko. Babalik raw siya next year, but things will never be the same again. Ang pag alis nya signifies maiba na ang lahat.I will still be a dear sister to her,and she will always be my ate. I will not be able to hug her anymore,we will not be able to exchange kilig stories and foodtrip in our home like we used to.Hindi lang ito ang unang pag let go ko, maraming beses na. Pero same pa rin ang sakit. You are like letting go of a very beautiful bird and let it fly to be free. I have learned to love and now it is time to let go.In times like this,though it hurts, I thank my Lord.I thank Jesus I have the capacity to love and I have experienced meaningful time with a special person.Hurt means I loved.Ate will forever part in my life.The Lord gave her to me, now it is time to give her back again to the Giver of good gifts.Thank God for technology though. Malayo man, malapit din.ÜGrabe napatahan ako ni Paolo Valenciano sa concert nila ni Gary V. Hehehe... I wonder if i would cry this hard if ever i have a boyfriend?!? hahahaha! oh well...

SEEING JESUS IN THE FLESH

Have I seen Jesus? Is He a myth? a Great teacher? A miracle worker? He is just more than that. For me He is my God, Sovereign Lord, Creator whom I adore, Afather, a loving Father, an ultimate Bestfriend who understand and a Savior who saved and found me when was lost. He lived and died and ressurrected two thousand years ago, but who is the one I saw Jesus in the flesh? They just walk, commute, interact in the city without being noticed, they just do their thing. But they make their day special by offering their day to the Lord, living a life selflessly and making a stand for justice. The world may think they're not special, they will be just a statistics when time comes, but what makes them special is that they are the children of the King of Kings. The Jesus I saw in the flesh are the people who made an impact in my life. They spend time knowing and understanding me, they too, are hurting but would not let their hurt rule their lives. Jesus Christ lives in them, they have experienced a meaningful life with Him and they desire to share this life they have experienced. They too are humans, but they choose to believe and be men and women of hope in these hopeless times. Jesus Christ will soon come again,He promised so. But I also see Jesus in the flesh in the form of these people who made me believe that there is a God who cares, who loves and changes lives. And you are one of them. I do not blaspheme, the Lord knows my heart. Jesus in the flesh reminds me of the real King of Kings and Lord of Lords who will reign forever and ever. Jesus Christ the Messiah, the Son of the Living God. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you. The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you peace. To God be the Glory forevermore.

September 17, 2005Arggh!!!

bakit ang yabang mo? nakakainis! parang utang na loob ko pa. Sana maintindihan pa kita,sana ayusin rin ng Lord ugali mo.Sana bigyan pa ako ng patience...

Reflections on Servanthood

entry ko sa Manila Leaders' Chronicle...

I only encountered the word servant or servanthood up close and personal through the ministry of IVCF.Servant hood. A very unpopular word. An uncomfortable word, an uncomfortable thing to do. Yet as I continue to grow in grace and knowledge on how big God’s love for me through His son Jesus Christ, servanthood is one of the requirements in following Him.Jesus Christ is the best example of servanthood. He explicitly lived a life of a servant, a servant of humanity. Though He may chose to live like a King, He had done otherwise to teach us to live like Him.

Our Savior came to live like a servant because He was the one who first reached out to us.We are challenged to be a student witness for the Gospel, to share the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ alone and to live an authentic life following our Lord. I believe we can reach out and touch lives by being a servant to our Lord Jesus Christ, then our service to others will follow.

Being a servant is not an easy task. It is bittersweet. I can say that I still hadn’t learn enough. I still have issues about myself that hinders me to serve others. But as one of the staff reminded us, “Patay sa Sarili”. It stricken me really hard. Being a servant is being dead to self and live for Christ. And also a reminder for me. as I reflect on the verse:“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake (Jesus) will find it.” Matthew 10:39I have found a meaningful life with Christ. I cannot afford just to keep it to myself. Sharing this life I found requires sacrifice on my part, I may still have my issues but the God whom I’m serving is faithful. I ‘m so awed on how He is teaching me and giving me the privilege to serve Him. To serve the King of Kings! I’m a servant. I may not be perfect, but He will finish His work in me. Someday, I desire to hear from Jesus the sweet word, “ Well done! My good and faithful servant” How would you want the Lord call you someday?

September 15, 2005the Child in Me

I love to think about life...to ponder things. But there are also the other side of me,the CHILD IN ME. I still love Disneyland! waaahhh....someday.Someday...i'll be there with my loved ones. Yun lang. i just wanna say, I LOVE dISNEY

September 12, 2005 Answered prayer from unexpected people
actually di ko naman prayer yun...pero wish ko lang sa heart ko yun. And i got my heart's desire from unexpected people. Salamat and I'm sorry.Kasi sila ang natataken forgranted ko. Mali talaga ako. Kaya sa mga taong feeling nila e nakakalimutan ko sila. Sorry, di ko sila nalilimutan. Tendency ko lang ang lumayo.But i do not mean that. Salamat sa inyo. Pagpalain kayo.Salamat ulit

September 07, 2005 Birthday

The Lord really blessed me this day.I'm blessed sa mga pagbati, texts, at emails. Basta, ansaya. haayyy...masaya talaga ako pwamis.hmm...pero sabi ni mommy cherry, In Denial pa rin ako. yeah...i admit. i'm in denial. haha!yun lang muna.

September Posts

2005-12-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

September 01, 2005
KC nostalgia
ewan ko kagabi, pero hindi ako makatulog. the memories of cool night breeze of Sibonga and the glittering stars make me missed my KC experience so much. Haaayyy...ganito na ba ito? I'm always saying that i had a very good fellowship with God's creation there,(kasi more than the people, i guess the place is one of the things i won't see much) pero i must admit, I MISS MY WHOLE KC EXPERIENCE. Napakabuti ng Lord noh? akalain mong may pakulo ang tao na iconfine ka for a month sa isang campsite tapos you will never be the same again?hehehe... i guess, ito dapat ang challenge ng magkKC. its a whole new experience, but they must also be prepared for the cost(ang matorture sa pagkamiss sa mga kaKC,sa Place,Worship Tym,Maging INSTANT LEADER SA CHURCH AND SA CAMPUS-hehehe...)
Pero wala naman akong pinagsisihan. The Lord made me realize things and be overwhelmed to the richness of His Truth. WISH KO LANG!WISH KO LANG TALAGA,Makaattend ang mga inaalagaan namin sa KC.
Oh well, i may miss my KC,But I pray yung mga na-promise namin or our heart's desire for the Lord will continue to burn in our hearts and do naman our part for Him.
Thank you Lord...all i can say is THANK YOU.

August Posts

2005-12-20T21:59:00.000+08:00

August 29, 2005
haaayyy...
haaay...gusto nyo malaman ang masayang magugong happenings ko last sunday night? tanungin nyo na lang si ate jo. haha!panalo talaga yun. mas lalo ko naapreciate ang buhay.
mommy che and ate jo, pasensya na ha...kung nadamay kayo sa akin.halagang P1.50 lang tayo.nyaknyak...pero naappreciate ko talaga my time to be with you. God bless you abundantly sa mga work nyo. konti na lang, i will join you. hehehe...Love ko talaga kayo...
what if tayo talaga till the end? hmm... i dunno.
thank you for being with me.God bless you.

August 23, 2005
Things are making sense...
thank God!!! konti na lang!!! sana wala pasok sa monday! for our survival. haay...
on the other hand, miss ko na siya....haaay.

August 19, 2005
W hen God banged me to the wall
yup. this is what i can describe my whole week. The Lord really banged me to the wall. Where He removed my other source of securities that takes His place. I even woke up miserable and wish to end my day in my day without attending class or worst, i want to end up dead...and meet Him.(i guess this' just me, sobra kung ma depressed) Hehehe...
This is what the Lord wants me to do. To see my hopelessness without Him. He reminded me that i may look like ok with Him, but He still knows my heart. His love endures.
Thank You Lord for restoring me. continue to break me, til you can work through me.
*congratz sa cicf! yahoo! hahaha! alam nating lahat na hindi natin ineexpect ang awards natin this organization week. thank you sa support. Praise God for His favor.Ü

August 15, 2005
Tampo
haay, nagtatampo talaga ako ngayun. promise. nakakainis! grr!

August 07, 2005
Obsession...and Things before i die
wish ko lang talaga, may magbigay sa akin ng Painting na masterpiece nila kahit ako na lang ang magpa-frame. kelan kaya magiging dream come true ito?!? please lang!
i also need inspiration. thank God for ate Sharon's workshop on creativity.sana magkaroon ako ng time to release my creative juices.
things I want to do before I die...
*Do what the Lord wants me to be.
*To know and evaluate what I did is all worth it. And i made my life worth living.
*To see a soul turn to Christ and see amazing change in His life.
*To see important people who backslid in the faith to turn to Christ.
*To see my church raise up to the challenge, be a true disciples of Jesus, and reach out to their own Samaria and ends of the earth.
*have my own garden,library and Art studio (take note, i dont dream for a house...ito lang ang mga gusto ko)
*Ma-tour ang buong Pilipinas. Bonus na lang if i have the chance to see the world.And marvel God's creation, and eventually, paint or make an art from it.
*Mag paint. do arts
*Mag paaral ng taong may noble na pangarap sa buhay and make a change to his life.
*have learnings on society and share Christ to the community at the same time develop it.

so far ito muna...marami pa e. Basta, gusto ko ng masterpiece! Thank God for the Arts!

Dreams
"we must learn to read our times.." these are the words ate Cheery told us during our Student Leaders' Retreat. Yeah... I am hearing people who are beginning to be desperate and find their hopes in afternoon shows and singing contests.
I find the Filipino now as a very competent person and would do his very best to fulfill his dream. But my question is, what is his dream? when i studied Filipino psychology last year, it was a thought that the Filipino has still hasn't moved on to the next level. he is still trapped to fulfill his basic needs, to give his family a hearty meal or a decent life. on the other hand, the Filipino is also hungry for fame, affirmation or even just recognition,so he tries to win contests and get a jackpot prize. I'm not saying that joining contest is bad, but it seems that his dreams just revolves to winning the contest and that makes my heart break.
there is more to life.
it is just a small voice to say that only in Dying to self to follow the way of the CROSS can we only find life. And dying to self is a daily process. This is the truth. but not all know this or even bother to know this. But our hope is in Jesus Christ. they must know Him.
But, do we care? we are also disillusioned to our own cares and humiliation that sometimes we cease to reach out to these people. We read our times, we need to respond. we need to touch hearts and make an impact to somebody's life. Money is not all there is.
I'm also asking myself how?!? arrggh!!!it always make my head ache if i can not find answers. But You oh God is always there. open our eyes, our hearts...may we be a bearer of hope and light.
Break us Father... Break me.

August 03, 2005
Environment friendly :D
i am planning to join an environmental organization. I've been thinking about it two weeks now. I guess, I'll join Haribon. After i visited my province last summer, i was so amazed on the trees and fresh air. It was indeed a break for me. But now I'm in the city again, the pollution is killing me. I don't know, but my desire now is to be pro-active. I need to do something. Last May, i started a compost where i put dried left overs and soon be a fertilizer.
I remeber when i was three years old my mother inculcated to us to never throw any trash on the road may it bee the tiniest candy wrapper. Now, I still have that habbit, and I'm disgusted whenever I see people litter everwhere.
Also, my environmental perspective broaden when I took Environment and Society. My professor was so passionate and so pro-active when it comes to conserve nature and to have healthy lifestyle. She even took us to a retreat house in Tagaytay where the treesare cultivated naturally, without any chemicals.
I told ate Chriri about my idea of joining Haribon. She told me " ok yun, para may Christian sa Haribon." Also, in one discussion of kuya Nono a while ago in our Bible study was, God created Adam to take care of creation. boy, that statement hit me really hard! and lastly, I'm also planning to read, "Heaven is not my Home" to broaden my perspective about the environment. I also desire to read environmental books.
The Lord is teaching me to be a Christian in all aspects of my being. He is also the Lord of the environment. And everytime I admire the nature and worship my personal God as the God of nature, I must and will do my part of conserving it.
Hmm..I hope I could think of ideas to lessen the garbage and to educate people on how to take care of our environment. And I still have to raise P500 for the membership fee.So help me God.

2005-12-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

post ko dito yung mga pinost ko sa kabilang blog...

June 23, 2005
SHE DID IT AGAIN...
HAAAYYY....MURA! ANG INABOT KO...HAHA! yeah. second time around. i don't care sinong may kasalanan, am I worth the curse? maybe...i dunno. it just hurts.

June 22, 2005
KUNG BADTRIP...BADTRIP TALAGA...
mahal na ang pamasahe...
trapik...
hindi pa matino ang schedule sa course ko...
dissolved ang major subjects na kailangan ko...kung hindi man, magbabayad pa ng additional, dahil tutorial na lang ang magiging status...
magulong kausap ang department..thinking na sila dapat ang gumawa ng solution sa problema (pwede naman ako magvolunteer, pero lalabas na atribida ako...hehehe)
NANAKAWAN NG SLING BAG WITH TICLER AND WALLET INSIDE (ANG MASAKIT,NANDUN MGA MEMORABILIAS, PIX AND CARDS KO NA MAY MGA POINTS NA!!!!sana lang talaga...kahit yun maibalik)
MALAKAS ANG ULAN
what a day!!!talu-talo na talaga...nung nanakawan ako, feeling ko, may suspect ako...sana mali ako.Pero hindi ako galit. UPSET lang. sana ibalik nya ang wallet ko tsaka mga cards...kanya na lang ang money.
a...ewan,pero tahimik lang ako. i didn't ask why. I just felt sad. feeling ko kasi, ang tanga tanga ko. i really mourned for that loss.salamat sa mga taong nakinig at nakisympatya sa akin.
grabe, for a moment,nadepress ako. just proves na may attachment nga ako sa gamit na yun.
i also learned na i'm under God's mercy.Bad things may happen to "good" people,ika nga ng friend ko, but love parin ako ng Lord. yun lang pow.
thanks friends! love you!

June 11, 2005
Something I got from email
This is something worth sharing.... Have a nice day! THE GREATEST ADVICE Don't date because you are desperate. Don't marry because you are miserable. Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior. Don't philander because you think you are irresistible. Don't associate with people you can't trust. Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend. Don't dictate because you are smarter. Don't demand because you are stronger. Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better. Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder. Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate.! Don't regress. Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back. Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right. Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your biological clock is ticking. Learn a new skill. Find a new friend. Start a new career. Sometimes, there is no race to be won. Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions. To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless. To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy. To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons. To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be. Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons. Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty. Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family. Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you are not ready. Don't keep others waiting needlessly. Go on that trip. Don't postpone it. Say those words. Don't let the moment pass. Do what you have to, even at society's scorn. Write poetry. Love Deeply. Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon. Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU. It is true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging. Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love. Pursue your passions. Live your dreams. Don't lose faith in your God. Don't grow old. Just grow YOU! When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. --Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life
haha! I remember some people I know who are desperate to find a partner, or , another way around, married or already have kids at a very early age. This kind of news really makes my heart break.
The Lord Jesus Christ prepared a LIFE for us, only if we loose our lives for Him. And having a married life is not the end point...its just a beginning of obeying God together.
Besides, LIFE WORTH LIVING IS A LIFE LIVED FOR GOD. If we realize how much God gave and endured for us, we can't do anything but OBEY.
Of course, everybody wants to end up in a happy ending. I have also seen people who waited for God, and had an abundant life. Not that they became rich or had romantic life together, but they have a life that seeks and obeys the Lord.
Oh well, ‘nuff said. God bless us all.

June 07, 2005
And She Will be Loved
Haayyy....dear.
kahit kailan, panalo talaga ang pagdedetach mo. mahal ka naman namin. natatakot ka lang...kahit kami,nilalayuan mo. Kaya kahit ganyan ka,kahit pagtaguan mo kmi,mahal ka pa rin namin. we rejoice with you when you are happy, and we wish you always the best. Sana,isama mo rin kami sa sorrows mo. Nandito kami. kahit ang circumstance ang mapagpahiwalay sa atin,always remember na minahal ka namin. and we will always love you.
Get over it...hindi habang buhay biglaan ang pag good bye mo sa amin. hindi ganun. I (we)admit you have a strong personality, but you must have people whom you can trust, other than God.
You are loved...We love you. The Lord knows your heart. we are here for you.
Basta...pakita ka na..

June 06, 2005
Pasukan Anxiety...
haayyy...I'm having this kind of anxiety again. I thank God he gave me wonderful three years in college. But now, i know this is another challenge fo me. I always see myself not that grown up girl that should be called "ate", but a follower. Now that my friends from the upper batch are already graduates, i must endure the challenge to be looked up to...and this includes responsibility.
I just need Spiritual Retreat...I just really need one.
May others see Christ in me...as i boast of my weaknesses.

June 05, 2005
Letting Go...
test...

Lessons Learned From Kids...

2005-02-20T13:00:00.000+08:00

ISCF had their fellowship in our place at the PCU auditorium. I got the chance to observe and to have simple chit chat with the highschool student leaders. I learned,i guess, have re-learned so many things...

I want to have the zeal to serve the Lord once again.Just like what i see in them.
They are growing up. not necessarily growing old. i really like that thought.
When you invest in the lives of the students, it is the Lord that will make them grow. The labor is not all in vain.
You don't have to be popular to be accepted by the youth. you just have the heart to serve, and it will always go back to you.
And the Greatest of this is LOVE. God's love. i need it to share, i need it to keep me going through life's challenges.

Thank You Lord for finding me, when I'm lost and so busy doing things for you, that i forget to spend time with you. continue to fill me with your grace and love. I LOVE YOU LORD JESUS CHRIST.

For The Record!!!

2005-02-18T17:20:00.000+08:00

We stayed until 11:30 pm at school,finishing the letter cut-outs for the symposium today. Oh well,it's life.

Survey Questions I got from Friendster

2005-02-10T16:01:00.000+08:00

1. What color is most reflective of you?~GREEN.am always fascinated sa different shades of green, esp. sa mga trees.
2. How did you get the idea for yourfriendster name?-nicname ko sa bahay.
3.What time were you born?~di ko alam.
4.What song are you playing now, or wishyou were playing?~ Christian songs...sana alam kong gitarahin.
5. Has the death of a celebrity ever madeyou cry?~di naman...upset lang. nung namatay si princess diana.
6.What color of underwear are you wearing?~waah dah..?!?
7. Do you want a baby?~not now.
8.What does your mom do for a living?~ magbudget ng sweldo ni tatay...other than that, di ko na alam
9. What does your dad do for a living?~ Chief Engineer sha sa isang shipping company sa Singapore.
10. What is your pet's name?~pet dito sa bahay, pero di ko pet, si lala...yun raw ang pangalan nya.
11. What color are your bedsheets?~green
12. What are the last 4 digits of yourphone number?~0504
13. What song are you playing now?~wala
14. What was the last concert youattended?~kanina sa concert ng highschool alma mater ko.
15. Who is with you?~si yaya at titay, and rachel, my highschool kabarkada.
16. What was the last movie you saw?~i forgot. sa sobrang tagal na.
17. Who do you dislike most at thismoment?~intimidated lang, pero di dislike....pewo...secret na lang yun.
18. What food are you craving right now?~manggang hilaw and bagoong. yumyum!
19. Did you dream last night?~yes.
20.What was the last tv show you watched?- Oprah
21.What is your fave piece of jewelry?-lola's heirloom, a diamond ring.
22. What is to the left of you?~a book shelf.
23. What was the last thing you ate?~strawberry float.
24. Who is your best friend of theopposite sex?~dami akong boy friends e. di ko alam kung paano sila ma classify.
25. Write a song lyric that's in your head.~Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are SET on our God.---Whose hearts are set on our God.yeah...in love ako sa Lord.
26. What song is that from? Blessed...
27. Who last PMed you?~Edward. asteg ka...pero bat defensive?
28. Where is your signifigant other rightnow?~di ko alam.
29. Do you have a crush?~meron.hehehe....akin na lang yun and to mah gurlfriends.
30. What is his/her name?~kwentuhang gurlfriends nga itu e!!!!
31. What shampoo do you use?~di ko alam. palmolive ata...
32. When was the last time you had a hair cut?-last week.
33. Are you taking any medications?~vitamins
34. Do you have a mental disease?~ nope. But bone disease.OSTEOGENESIS IMPERFECTA.
35. What shirt are you wearing?Pantulog na.
35.. What time is it?~11:20 pm
37. What color is your razor?~wala ata ako nyan.
38. What is your fave frozen treat?~double dutch icecream, fridge cake. tapioca.
39. Are you sexy? Are you gay?~er, next question please.
40. Whats your favorite shopping store?~ I only shop for books, (so,National Bookstore, Books for Less, OMF Lit.,Back to the Bible Book Store, PCBS.) for my arts and crafts obsession (Papemelroti,National Bookstore, Office and Supplies stores.), Casette tapes (radio city, Odessey, Praise Inc.),batik/ethnic get-up.(Batik/ethnic store sa UP Dil.,Divisoria,latest, sa EVER Gotesco- i rarely shop for clothes.)
41. Are you thirsty? why?~yes. Hindi pa ako nakakainom ng tubig after strawberry float.
42. Can you imagine yourself ever gettingmarried?~not yet.. but i can imagine finding Mr. God-has-prepared-for-me.Ü

mY tAtAY Is hOmE!!!!

2005-02-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

AFTER ONE WHOLE YEAR AT SEA...He's here. thank God for His safety. I can also see wisdom in his eyes. I love you tatay.

THANK YOU...MR. COOKIE MONSTER

2005-01-31T15:44:00.000+08:00

Thanks for the new Lay out Ian! though still under construction. God bless yah!

STUPID QUESTION. I REALLY MEAN STUPID

2005-01-31T15:32:00.001+08:00

Someone from church asked me a question. It is meant for reflection. But it made me really upset.

She said..."Lorah, If God will give you 2 cheques, what will you do with it?"

Lorah: "I would buy Books and date my friends!"

She: "Well then, what if the second cheque is not accepted?"

I am irritated. I feel that it was the most stupid question I heard.

Lorah: "huh? why would they do that? first of all, the Lord knows my heart. second, I didn't asked for it, third,i would convert the cheque into cash to budget my spending..."

She keeps on insisting that I should stay on the question. waaaahhh i really want to cry that time.

her point..."Not all things you ask will be given to you...."

uh...oh...so is that it?

It really made me upset....UPSET.

Affirmation

2004-10-08T11:41:00.000+08:00

Lord, in times like this, thanks for keeping me sane and for providing people who uphold me in prayer and support. Thank you for showering your grace and mercies to them that they are real vessels of your love towards me. Bless them abundantly.

Jun-Numeriano- thanks for keeping me sane. Thanks for the Reality Check once in a while. Thanks for your sisterly love. I really appreciate it.May God continue to grant the desires of your heart.

Sherry- Thanks for helping me to realize things that I keep on denying. And for helping me to realize that my Big Dream can only be done in God’s time. Thanks for reminding me that my timetable is not God’s timetable. I love you sis. I am giving you the right to rebuke me.

Ate Jo- thanks for your prayers and your understanding smile that keeps me go one with my walk with Christ. Just like Sherry, I’m giving you the right, by all means, to correct me, rebuke me and make me return to my senses. Love you ate.

Ate Mildred- Thank you very much for your life. I respect you, I admire your passion to make a change in your community. Just like you, It is also my prayer to make an impact to the place where God place me.

Ate Grace- you know my mischief but still accept me as I am. You are a real woman of God. I love you.

Ate Gerlen and Kuya Nono- Your love life inspires me and gives me hope that someday, the Lord has someone for me, with the same passion and calling for Him. Just have to wait. hahahah…also, thanks for your trust,support and understanding. I love you both.

Pastor Rex- I really see Jesus Christ in you. Thank you.

People hurt you, but there are still people who keeps you to focus to the right direction JESUS. Thank you Lord for placing them in my life. I hope and pray for people who will come in my life that I could consider them as my precious jems.

Quiet time

2004-10-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

I just finished my Quiet Time. The Lord is very timely in His message for me. It is all about Unity in the Body of Christ. In Ephesians 4: 1-16
The verses that really spoke to me was… “ Live a Life worthy of the calling you have received.” I was so radical these days. My heart is very antagonistic of the reality I was seeing in my environment. I cannot balance things and what I ought to feel.
My dream is too Big for me, my hopes are Big for me. Way too idealistic. But I don’t care. Much to my ideals, I need somebody who I could share my real self and be what I can be. I can’t stay long to a place where I cannot connect. So that’s why I’m hoping and praying that when I get a job, it is a conducive place for healthy relationship. There can be times of misunderstanding, but you know for sure that people would accept you for who you are and would be supportive.
“ Live a Life worthy of the calling you have received.” Thank God for this message. I forgot about this. To live out my life worthy of God’s calling. I was down with disappointments in life that I forgot that God has called me for something.
Just when the time I feel that I’m over, the Lord has his way of communicating with me. He is like telling me, “ My child, there is a bigger picture than you think…”
I’m not giving up my dreams. Maybe, it is not yet time…but even if my dreams won’t come true, I have my God who knows my heart and is sovereign of what will happen to my life. And besides, I’m waiting for the time that I could see Jesus’ smile on his face and say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
I don’t know what will happen to me. May it be for the best or for the worst, may God’s name be praised.

Cry

2004-09-22T04:06:00.000+08:00

I just cried. Sometimes for the Lord Jesus to work in our lives, we need to shed a tear. I haven’t read the book, “Where is God when it Hurts”. But I bet it will help me a lot. Crying my heart out together with my friend in CICF is a great relief. I am not ashamed to cry. I long to cry for weeks.
I just forgot to cry. I was hurting then. People hurt me. But then I forgot to cry. I refused to cry, but it turned out that it even made me more callous and more hurting. Crying yesterday in CICF office and sharing my heart taught me that crying is releasing of burden and making the Lord Jesus Christ in charge of my burden…I forgot that his burden for me is light… I’m just making things complicated.

Dear God,
You know I still hurt. But I’m so sorry I forgot to cry. I’m sorry if I see the barriers than looking up to you. I’m weak Lord. Sometimes I’m ashamed of my self and the people around me who confess to love you but are still complacent. You don’t deserve me. Yet why do you still reach out? Your Holiness I cant bear. But you are telling me to look to your Graciousness. Yes Lord, we do not deserve you because we are filthy because of sin. Our righteousness is like filthy rags. But thank you for your love, through Jesus Christ, we can humbly come before your throne.
Teach us o Lord…make us fall in love with you more. Consume me with your love. Give me grace I could share it to others, fill me… make me a channel of blessing. You alone God… help me to surrender my life to you everyday. That I should not do things on my own. But Yours o Lord. Thank you for teaching me. Continue to change me from glory to glory, Lord, renew me. I love you…

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Delinquent

2004-09-19T14:46:00.000+08:00

I am delinquent church-goer this past 2 months. I hurt my nanay, our Pastor asked me what seems to be the problem, and ate Gerlen set me a date and asked me how am I doing. It seems that I was not able to balance my ministry, even my head and heart.
For whatever my reason (though I have lots of it), I saw how vulnerable I am. I’m sorry. I’m sorry coz I’m not perfect. I almost hate myself. I feel I’m finished. My God is a great God but I can’t bear his goodness that he showers to me that I do not deserve. I know it’s a lie. But it is what I feel right now.
I came to identify my weaknesses. I have some people to blame why I am like this, but it is no use. I am what I become and in one way or another it’s my choice I let them. I don’t know how to communicate. I have this passion, but people can’t just seem to understand.
In comparison with my sister, she’s very good at communicating she gets what she wants from people.
I find it difficult to communicate. Many times I experienced rejection, dominated and ridiculed. That’s why I always choose to shut up rather than to speak up. I would rather to write my thoughts in my prayer journal than to express to the world my feelings. Besides, I know God is there the Only One who really cares. And I thank my true friends who are always there to listen, but sometimes, I am also hesitant to share them my struggles, coz for them to bear my problem is too much for them.
Yes, I’m delinquent in the eyes of the people. I am living in a world where everybody looks at me and just don’t understand. I don’t blame them. We are living in a world where defying the norms seems to be a great disgrace.
Church for me is a group of people who is redeemed by God’s grace. Thank God for the place we can conduct worship, but sometimes if the place and over familiarity of believers sinks into the “Church” how rotten it will be! I hate institutions! I hate complacency! I hate when everybody seems not to care, I hate myself. I believe in the Church, that those who have personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ belongs to a universal Church. Not the building itself, but the genuine fellowship. But sometimes we fall short of what Christ has commanded of us. To make disciples…in my 13 years of Sunday-life in church, I can only count in my fingers the number of people the “church has really made disciple.
I sound subversive. Hmm… I don’t know, maybe it is just the “weak” me seeing the hurtful realities in this world. I need Jesus.
I don’t know, as of now, I don’t want to leave the youth ministry, but I’m just away to save the joy in my heart…once it is gone, it’s gone. I don’t want to be a living dead. I am delinquent. Please understand me, but I don’t blame you if you would confront me. I just wish, I could talk to you in that time.
My greatest fear is to become the person I hated the most.

I'm Touched...Ü

2004-09-17T14:33:00.000+08:00

I thank God for the simple things He has given me. I don't deserve this affirmation,it is His image that people see in me. but i would like to thank you Roselle for this wonderful poem.*grabe!!!kinikilig ako!* A poem just made for you is really something. I really felt special.

A God-Sent Angel

I Know a girl who's very nice

I can tell it just by looking at her eyes

She gives me comfort and the strength i need

to overcome my unpleasant deed

She let me reminds of a special someone

And wants me to deeply know of this exceptional man

You may wonder who's I'm talking about...

He's our Saviour and my friend(Jesus)...someone I could count

She is a very extra ordinary person

For me, she is a very precious stone

Just stay happy and gay

And that you will continuously pray

aww... I also receive a love letter from Bench...you sweet little girl,continue to shine for Jesus.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the gift of friendship. Thank you for the lives of the people you place in my life. They are so special Lord.You know their hearts. continue to bless them...and make them the person you want them to be. Let us continue to love you more and more each day. And may we continue to be a vessel of blessings to other people.Praise you Lord for their lives. thank you....

I Know What to Expect: Not to Expect Anymore

2004-09-15T15:44:00.000+08:00

Yey! ambiguities in my head are gone...I don't have to expect anything. and that calls for a celebration!!!Coz I know God clears things for me, to only expect things from Him. He spares me to experience unecessary hurts. I'm free!!!weeeee....Ü

Thank You

2004-09-10T13:30:00.000+08:00

Hmm...I didn't posted last September 7. I was overwhelmed of what the Lord has blessed me with. Friends.
My birthday was a solemn celebration. Nanay and i had a date at Yellow cab...hehehe Just for food trip. But i really appreciate our chit chat. And what made my day complete? emails,sms messages from friends and KC mates. I really see how the Lord blessed me with true friends. Some i haven't seen for a long time yet they remembered my special day. I really see Jesus Christ on how they greet me and it seems that the Lord is telling me, "my Child, I love You. they are my gifts for you..." Amazing... Thanks friends. The Lord bless you abundantly. Again, I want to thank you for the gift of friendship. I love you all...

Birthday Wish...

2004-09-06T15:00:00.000+08:00

haaayyy...1 day to go,this is what i call, birthday blues.(Maybe i just can't accept that i'm getting older.)
Here are my Birthday wishes... i Don't expect it will come to pass, but just for the thrill of it, no harm in wishing...

I Hope Mushroom would greet me...
would receive a gift cheque or enough money so that i could shop for books! books! books!
i would have the chance to go out of town, spending my birthday with God alone.
receiving letters from friends would be great!and would complete my day.
My sister would get to her senses and go back to normal.
My brother would get better.
Nanay would understand the choices that i will make. That will not make me a lesser Christian.
My Youth group would continue to grow spiritually,would really stand for the truth, Hate what is evil,and would really desire to reach out for others.
Tatay would cook for me rellenong Bangus and make spicy vinegar...yumyum! I really missed him.
we are now in a family crisis, i just hope when Tatay's home, we could take family pictures with genuine smiles in our faces. I love my family.

there...but there's a lot more...

Precious Moments

2004-08-30T15:25:00.000+08:00

It has been a long tiring day. But I was so blessed. Early this morning mg class in Environment and Society went to an Ecological Farm in Mendez in Tagaytay. It's a place to be for those who desire serenity and relaxation. After walking and checking around the place, I make the most out of the opprtunity to INHALE FRESH AIR FROM THE PLACE. Also, I got the chance to take the nap.

T he best part for me was the time we are travelling going to the said place. I got the chance to marvel God's creation while the bus is on its way. The green scenery of wild trees,coconut trees and alike releases all my worries. and stresses i had weeks before. Again, the Lord is faithful to me, i remembered monday last week that i desire to have a retreat. This is the day the Lord has made for me! And Who He is made me confident that i have a BIG GOD bigger than my problems and personal struggles.

Then it was about 1pm when we left the ecological farm. By 3:30 we were already in Manila. then i was off to go to Cainta for our KC "Informal" reunion. We went to Karl's(KC Mate) place to visit his father. we bought fruits and cake.

It was a celebration of life. Karl's father has cancer. But what encourages us is their heart and decision to stand firm in God and choosing to obey His will. They are not bitter of what is happening in their lives. Tito Jonathan(Karl's father) sat with us, and he played the guitar with worship songs he composed...yes. I call it precious Moments. Precious moments, because those are the songs we heard for the first time,and that the song has "different stories" to tell about its owner.Ljay brought bongos and egg shaker...but we forgot to bring "recorder". But it was fun jamming together, worshipping God with new songs.

Afterwhich, we had dinner fellowship, laughed and fooled around and reminiscing...hehehe...yeah, reminiscing our mischiefs in our Kawayan Camp.(KC)

Then, it was already late. we were 7 NCR KCmates who are enjoying our time together,before we go, we prayed for the 7 regions in the Philippines who will have their own LCDC camp.It is good to pray for them and knowing that we were praying for one another.

All in all, i was really blessed. there are moments we should cherish. I cherish the fresh air i inhaled from the Ecological farm, i cherish seeing the green scenery while we were travelling, i cherish my time being with friends in Christ, and most of all i cherish the time when i got the chance to hear Worship songs from a humble person who trusts in the Lord.

In Him (Jesus) We Live and Move and Have our Being...i Praise God for these life's simple pleasures yet for free...

Friends..

2004-08-28T06:21:00.000+08:00

Friends!hah! i can't believe there are people you care for and will only throw away years of "friendship" just like that. and i can't believe i'm like this. i am used to being "rejected" all my life...who cares! i will be hurt over and over again...but i guess it's all worth it if this is what it takes that i would be a stonger person. we have our own share of ups and downs...I guess, it hurts.

SR...

2004-08-23T11:40:00.000+08:00

Spiritual Retreat...or SR. I din't go to church today. I need to spend time with my Lord Jesus Christ. ministry in church is a great priviledge to serve God, yet when I myself is empty, how can I minister? I am broken...seeing my brother's situation hurts me a lot. And i am being harsh to myself these days. But i know in my heart the Lord is faithful. He will see us through these challenges. I love my Lord. I just need to re-align things i need to do...I don't wanna be like this. I want to grow...